Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML
Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
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Top comments
smexykero 0
I like the part where nuns use computers.
speechless5 0
hehehe, brilliant! :D
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Comments (143)
shadowPlayer 6
That's hilarious!!
DakotaCat 4
Hows about you just Stfu when the nuns are present! My mother is a nun for your imformation!
Doortje 30
For your information, mo ome cares.
Zebidee 9
Wait. What? How does THAT work? o_O
thatguy205 4
^^ New words? I like them.
sublime420 11
Sounds like she wasnt a very good one, then
macskapingvin 0
My mother was also a nun. My dad was a short-sighted penguin.
metalwolf 17
Adoption. Don't tell him that his father is really Doc.
alwa7sh 2
STFU! you just sinned go confess to your mom. While you at it tell her about the sinful FMLs you read on this site. And yes, mo ome cares
alwa7sh 2
did you just abreivate Shut The **** Up! you just sinned go confess to your mom. While you are at it tell her about the sinful FMLs you read on this site of people committing adultery. And yes, mo ome cares
alwa7sh 2
did you just abreivate Shut The **** Up! you just sinned go confess to your mom. While you are at it tell her about the sinful FMLs you read on this site of people committing adultery. And yes, mo ome cares
Sirin_fml 47
Did you just reply to yourself? Out, demon! The power of Christ* compels you! *may actually be DocBastard wearing a fake beard and a hippy cut
Zebidee 9
If it is actually Doc, do we still get to nail him to a tree?
Sirin_fml 47
Yes, but with nails made out of foam. He's a delicate flower of a man, and all that entails.
Zebidee 9
I don't know - somehow crucifixion with spray foam just doesn't have the same ring to it. You're hardly going to generate a large following if you go to show people your stigmata, and all you have is sticky palms. Surely people will just point and laugh...
DocBastard 40
I'm not sure if I should be flattered by this, horrified, amused, disgusted, or titillated. I'm going with titillated, but only because it's a fun word to say.
Sirin_fml 47
Well, I accidentally deleted one of my own comments, so now you guys look like you're even more cracked than usual and are talking to yourselves. But it went like this: "Did you just reply to yourself? Out, demon! The power of Christ* compels you! *may actually be DocBastard wearing a fake beard and a hippy cut* Anyway, titillated is a nice word, though I'm suspicious of any words that Perdix would ruin perfectly good underwear upon hearing.
Zebidee 9
That doesn't leave a lot of words, frankly. Perdix has to 'go to the bathroom' if he hears the word 'Nutella'. Laughing at you accidentally modding your own comment... I suppose that's what the QDB is for.
Torunn 13
LMAO
TheBombDotCom_ 0
Smart!
sumerflame07 7
LMAO!! That's so awesome!!
saleha97 4
At least you learned your lesson :)
sadistmonkey 19
I truly applaud the OP. This is neither YDI nor FYL.
metalwolf 17
How old are you and what is your IQ? He deserves it for being a smarta-- in the first place.
sadistmonkey 19
Obviously higher than yours.
BWill9014 4
k
poopystick 0
you are a retard
sircyrelle 0
That's dumb.
bigbadtim 7
This FML is just a bunch of NUNsence.
TheBombDotCom_ 0
I can't believe someone posted this. Good on you. (y)