Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML
Today, my deranged coworker sent me a text message containing a picture that she just took of her uncle. It was at his funeral. FML
Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, my CEO called and spoke to me like I'm a child. Apparently, she has a surprise for me, "but only if I clean up my office first." She hasn't been to my office in months because she works in another state. Turns out, someone texted her a picture of my messy office. FML
Today, my coworker, who is constantly singing "Baby Shark," wanted to take selfie for her Instagram account. She moved all the junk from her desk to mine, so her desk would look great in the picture. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
CallMeWindSock 24
You've cat to be kitten me
sydneysays 15
Write "meowwy christmas" on it
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Comments (62)
CallMeWindSock 24
You've cat to be kitten me
adrian1910 15
What a CATastrophe
hunteredmundson 17
You've cat to be kitten me right meow
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
I don't think that customer was feline well mentally.
ohSNAPyall 27
Keyword search: cat
em_the_g 12
To it's you got to be kitten me right meow
cdawg69 10
solid..
grimpeeper 13
Cat you think of any more puns right meow? These puns are making me claw-strophobic, I'm surrounded by these cat-astrophic puns
Despereaux 15
Did you know her beforehand? Or was it some random person? Either way, fyl, op.
Sakuraashita 15
They must have already known each other since she knew OP has a cat.
ajh557 22
That's catastrophic.
kaablam 17
Sounds more like opportunity for an awesome holiday card to me! -crazy customer
tigerborn69 18
she wants that pussy
danis_fml 12
You should feel flattered lol
VolcanoTheDragon 20
So thats how you would feel if someone you didn't know came up to you and demanded a card with a picture of your face on it?
theawkwardlife 21
They could get greeting cards of beautiful nature sceneries, famous historical landmarks or beach booty, but instead they want my face? Hell ya, wouldn't you?
clawei51 11
What a purrrrfect way to ruin your day...!
cherry_popper69 11
Your grammar was a perfect reason to ruin my day.
JayGatsby 25
#34, It was meant to be a pun...
saucyrossi 18
Don't be a pussy... Hehe
platinumbking 4
Why are people disliking this comment? It's fuckn funny
NellieeNell 18
Creepy much? Lol that would totally freak me out
Marie54321 19
Crazy cat lady doesn't want to feel alone anymore
sydneysays 15
Write "meowwy christmas" on it
MrConcise 35
Wow, a cat pun that made me smile. Impressive.