Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML
Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
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Top comments
smexykero 0
I like the part where nuns use computers.
speechless5 0
hehehe, brilliant! :D
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Comments (143)
speechless5 0
hehehe, brilliant! :D
Jandude 9
since when do nuns use computers? To pray online?
alwa7sh 2
I really hope you used the username: [email protected]
pepsie_fml 0
op reeks of stupidity....
Sadochan 0
Brilliant. but nuns have eerie ******* powers man. watch out. Jehovahs Witnesses are coming for you!
tatababe 1
how did you use black magic to fix a computer
tatababe 1
how did you use black magic to fix a computer
lbeer 1
I don't get it
ahhitsjessi88 0
me eitheer ..
connorfinch 0
It's pretty simple
italiangurrl 8
i had to read it twice. he told some nuns he fixed their computer using black magic, and then when he was telling his boss and the nuns walked in, so he said speak of the devil!
popo37 0
thnx for explaining!! ;)
Falcon_My_Life 0
Oh.
pumpkin093 7
forever alone
Jkis 0
Really smart.
HemptressMedea 0
Thats not an FML. Just being a smartass
Phoenix1023 3
Or what? Sinner!
fountaindn4 0
this is stupid...fyl for being a moron, not the story itself
LLove770 0
how bout u need to shut the f@#$ up
DocBastard 40
LLove770 - That was just unnecessarily rude and obnoxious. I'm all for telling people to shut the **** up when it's deserved, but fountaindn4's comment was fine. If anyone here should shut the **** up, it's you.
LLove770 0
oh docbastard I know u have the need to feel part of this planet so u have to put ur 2 cents but here's a reality check NO ONE CARES ITS A DUMB WEBSITE WHERE PEOPLE TALK FREELY NOW GET OVER YOURSELF MISS HIGH AND MIGHTY
SirEBC 7
15, Doc is a dude.
LLove770 0
18, considering doc bitched like a c@#$ I just assumed it was one of my own lol
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Doc may be a dude, but that doesn't matter after you snort Viagra and turn the lights off. Well, it seems I may need to refresh my coffee. Excuse me...
Doortje 30
If you think this website is dumb, then why do you visit it?
DocBastard 40
LLove770 - let me get this straight, you're allowed to tell someone to shut the **** up, but I'm not? Is that about accurate? Who's on the high horse here? Idiot.
LLove770 0
lol doc I love u for making me so happy. ur so adorable
SmallTownCutie 0
I think it's funny that you're dissing Doc, since almost everyone on this website knows who he is, and enjoys his comments, but no one probably remembers ever reading your comments. Is somebody in need of a hug?
LLove770 0
yes please :) I'm special
dark_path 0
57, you little girl need to go and play your barbie dolls or go and watch Hannah Montana or something who the hell do you think are, keep that hole in your face shut. btw docbastard is famous for being the biggest bitch on this website, nothing more. Have a good day!
LoveMySoldier82 0
Llove sounds like she is in need of charm school. Just sayin'. It isn't attractive to sound like a male sailor that has been out to sea too long. Unless you are a male sailor.
DocBastard 40
Dark_path - if you think I'm the biggest bitch here, then you've obviously never met Ignorance, FFML_314, ohthebloodygore, or KaySL (when he is acting bitchy). I'll skewer a bit, sure. But those others will skewer you, roast you alive, eat you, chew on your bones, and laugh at your pain as they wipe a dribble of your blood off their chins. That was a weak attempt at trolling, son. Keep at it, though. You show promise, grasshopper.
spoo 24
We Didn’t Start The Flame War First post f!@#$%g g^y second post go away stupid picture simpsons did it south park did it too. ROFL copter really stupid I dunno, I kinda like it I hate Mindy I hate Cindy I hate f#gs and jews.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Agreed with you on that one, Doc. There are FAR worse bitches on this site than DocBastard. No, I'm not one of them, but I play the part from time to time, especially when I ask for my... WHAT THE @#$%?! GET THESE BEES AWAY FROM ME!!
SmallTownCutie 0
dark_path, I love how you dissed me on two FML's today. No joke, I feel special. And as I've said, I'm obviously more mature than you are, so you have no right to be a bitch to me, because seriously, from the comments I've seen of yours, you're a nasty, skanky bitch with a penis drawn on her shoulder. I also find it hilarious that you want to keep calling me a little kid. I am 16 years old, and once again, obviously MUCH more mature than you. I've rarely heard anyone but you call Doc a bitch. I've heard bastard, but hardly ever bitch. He delivers the blatant truth with a sense of humor. Not the kind of humor where there's a penis drawn on your shoulder. There's such thing as SLIGHTLY intellectual humor, and it seems you've never heard of it. And I will have a lovely day, thank you(:
JManHobbs 0
tbh, Doc is a bit of a twat.
xavier1623 4
Yeap. Doc was totally being a Twat. Then again, Llove deserved it so Doc'll probably be justified for being aforementioned name.
LoveMySoldier82 0
Of all the comments I have read that were made by Doc, have I ever thought if him as a twat, then again, I enjoy a sarcastic sense of humor.
M0rt 0
docbastard the guy was being a bitch; op isn't a moron he just gas a sense of humor
KriiFahMoro 9
Posting in thread of butthurts. And Llove, you blow at trolling.
mintcar 10
This was a little confusing to read. It sounds like an FML, so let's go with that.
yumsugarr 8
agreed..
sourgirl101 29
So I'm not the only one?
docscientist 10
It seems like op deliberately said these things to the nuns, except perhaps 'speak of the devil,' then posts an fml about it?
radicalfad 0
you are SO ugly!
Kpalsm 7
You people who can't read must have a hard time in life. I feel bad for you.
traze 7
Somebody's going to...
smexykero 0
I like the part where nuns use computers.
freenuggets 0
ima do this xD