Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML
Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
smexykero 0
I like the part where nuns use computers.
speechless5 0
hehehe, brilliant! :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
sandracoon 1
1: The hell is wrong with this dip$hit? 2: What is that even supposed to mean? 3: lamest FML ever... 4: FYL for being an idiot :p
banana_buddy 6
He would get a -1 from me for not automatically taking out the ban hammer on that moron.
stephanieface 0
if you don't get it, youre stupid. it's pretty freaking simple
imaredhead 0
I'm confused?
jc10x 8
Are you telling us or asking us?
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
The only big issue I have with this FML is the writing of a mental note. (atomic bombs begin to fall on Omaha, NE) I thought I never hear those bombs again... Damn it all.
stevenmx86 8
That sucks op but it is absolutely hilarious.. Sounds like something out of the IT Crowd.
sweet_candy_ 17
lol don't tell them your favorite number is 666.
alwa7sh 2
You mean assign 666 as their login password.
ChibiGirl5 0
lmao that's awesome
MysticDude 1
Haha #33, that's hilarious... in my opinion. :D
ovechkinisbeast 9
hahahhahahahhahahhaahahhahah
macskapingvin 0
Those all sound like excellent ideas to me.
teedygee 2
Nuns have a sense of humor, trust me. A priest told my grandmother his favorite joke once - how do you make holy water? You boil the devil out of it.
clhosman 0
Oooo. well as I recall, its that you boil the hell out of it
MetallicA7X86 0
Dude no matter what you do what you say or go you're going to offend somebody somewhere. My advice is to watch the game, have a cigarette, and have a few beers then say **** it and forget about it!
KiwiExchange 16
marvellous!
MissFukMyLuck 0
thank god for the clever minds in this world! my day would be rather dull without y'all!
As1LayDying 4
I couldn't agree more! same here lol