Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I forgot the golden rule when having windows open on your computer: always check which one you are typing in before hitting Enter to send. Me detailing my plan to fake a doctor's appointment for an extra day off to who I thought was my girlfriend means I now have to explain my miraculous recovery to my boss tomorrow. FML
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
Today, I learned that when someone says "I know what you did" it's better not to confess right away, because sometimes they could be talking about leaving the computer on all night, and not talking about giving the family dog away and telling everyone it ran away. FML
Today, my cute co-worker asked if he could use my computer. I told him my password and went to the bathroom. When I came back he said he'd finished. I tried to log in, but my password wouldn't work. I then noticed a Post-it note on the desk saying, "Stop stalking me and I'll change the password back." FML
Today, I gave my boss a nickname. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately, "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything. FML
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
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Top comments
smexykero 0
I like the part where nuns use computers.
speechless5 0
hehehe, brilliant! :D
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Comments (143)
Brennerb 0
This guy's a freaking GENIUS!
docscientist 10
Stop throwing around genius like some two dollar hooker. Op is not a genius, he's amusing and an ass, but not a genius.
candacejumba 0
Could somebody please explain this FML to me? The way it's worded is confusing. Thanks.
xNephilim 19
Good Lord, the people here keep getting more stupid by the second... The OP, who seems to be some sort of tech person, fixed the nuns' computer and jokingly said he used black magic. To which they didn't react too well. Later he told his boss the story and the nuns just happened to walk past them and heard him repeat what he'd said earlier. Again, they didn't react too well. And then, because he was just talking about them, he said "Speak of the devil". Got it?
millionaire93 0
you ****** idiot!!! hahahahahah
victorialauren13 0
I think the funniest part is that no one actually gets this! :P I personally think its quite funny!!
mishyyyb 5
I don't think this is an FML at all lol that's hilarious
OakChair 14
Oh, what I'd pay to see the looks on the nuns' faces when they heard the "speak of the devil" part...
Seddah 3
You deserved it (whatever you got), but that's hilarious.
cguinn17 9
that's hilarious, though written out a bit awkwardly lol
nietsrepus 0
haahahahahahaha!!!
GetaLifePlease 0
oh also don't let your account number have 666 anywhere in it.