Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML
Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML
Today, my husband drank way too much white wine at a wedding and projectile vomited all over me and my car while I was driving. We were 5 miles from home and I have emetophobia (the fear of vomit/vomiting). FML
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Top comments
rexgar2000 10
sounds like he had a great time. could've worse at least he didn't throw up on your dress.
Draxanoth 15
Merry Chri-(insert barfing noise here)
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Comments (108)
mattorama 15
Hopefully your next post isn't "My husband got fired from his job for being an idiot at his office party, and we have to sell our house."
kalikay_fml 2
thats just gross. you have a bad life.
bubo_fml 11
If your worried about soiling your dress, remove it before cleaning...(Just trying to help...)
mattorama 15
He's a grown man, he should be able to take care of himself!
brwneyes22 0
Looks like someone is getting a new dress ;)
brock329 3
Or at least deserves one
seeb49 7
I used to get completely wasted at office Christmas parties, but then I took an arrow in the knee.
brun12 1
Eww. When my husband throws up from drinking too much I make him clean it. I can't handle vomit
TonyIsMyDog 2
I don't understand why women put up with assholes like this. Why don't you have a little more self-respect? Of course she should of made him clean it up, but the bigger question is - why is she with a guy that would make an ass of himself at a company Christmas party?
Perc_fml 2
Oooooooooooooooooooooohh the internet white knights strike again
TonyIsMyDog 2
At least there are some decent people left.
MsCane 6
I would have waited until he sobered up and made him clean it up himself. Vomit is by far the worst thing to clean up!
keepingitnasty 15
Easy fix, (a) Exterior, stop at the car wash, power wash that crap off, you don't even have to tuch it. (b) Interior, the vacuums at the car wash are usally powerfull, drop some change, and fabreeze that *****. Op, at least he didn't try to **** one of his co-workers, isn't that how most office partys end up?