Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML
Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML
Today, my husband drank way too much white wine at a wedding and projectile vomited all over me and my car while I was driving. We were 5 miles from home and I have emetophobia (the fear of vomit/vomiting). FML
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Top comments
rexgar2000 10
sounds like he had a great time. could've worse at least he didn't throw up on your dress.
Draxanoth 15
Merry Chri-(insert barfing noise here)
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Comments (108)
conqueror57 11
You deserve it. Not the puke but you could've waited until morning to clean it, or make him!, or you could have changed clothes.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Hey genius, vomit dries later on so it will be hard when he or the op starts cleaning. Learn something before you post...
conqueror57 11
I know vomit dries. I'd prefer top clean dried vomit, it smells less. Also then you can hit it up with a scrub brush and vacuum the flakes. Plus, if you want it to be wet again, just add water. Learn something before YOU post.
wriptidez 0
dry cleaners
reaxion 25
My wife barfed on me and my shoes twice on our second date. I had to carry her home. I feel your pain.
Jeremy1212 2
haha
Ugi 27
You what? What were you thinking? Surely that dress is worth more than the cost of getting your car valeted! Better still, since it's his fault, wait for the morning and then make him either do it or pay up! After a night like that, go in with a meagphone/trombone etc at 6:30am and he'll agree to anything just to shut you up!
chocomilkshake 5
What are you talking about?? She had a rough night, how are you judging their entire marriage off of this?
Gnu_fml 9
Why did YOU clean it? You should let him do it himself!!
chocomilkshake 5
Maybe he was too drunk and you know, good marriages aren't always about being fair...(just because its his fault)...and apparently dried vomit is killer to clean xD
SAINTSFANUSA 3
Give & take is one thing but it is really your own fault for cleaning his mess
Mikayla1423 0
Why didn't you change first?
AnneeSo 6
You should have made him clean it. I would never go near someone's vomit.
tuckit 28
Hopefully he didn't do or say anything stupid at the party. :)