Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out, and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car, he pepper sprayed me. FML
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop asked if I had a reason for going so fast. I panicked and said, “I have to poop.” He followed me home with lights on, just to make sure I made it. FML.
Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML
Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner, I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
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Top comments
fsomelife 26
Try saying "cow crap on a cop car" five times fast.
Gabilliam 19
You silly tit.
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Comments (105)
andrmac 25
Well at least you got to shit on him 1st!
socialproduct 19
Would've been a funnier story if it was pig shit.
Gabilliam 19
You silly tit.
KayDee29 31
I cannot get over how funny this insult is.
fsomelife 26
Try saying "cow crap on a cop car" five times fast.
Schizomaniac 24
Cow crap on a cop car cow crap on a cop car cow crap on crop cra-DANG IT!
TheMike23 18
I can't do that shit.
friedpwnadge 25
I can do it. Not that difficult. Try saying "toast's toast toasts toast's toast" five times fast.
A07 48
You now have a story to tell at every family gathering in the future OP. Just don't overdo it and become the weird uncle
Delta_0DST 12
Too late
uchihastephy88 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You would think that pigs would like shit.
CaptainCrow 13
I really hope some day you get in a situation where a cop needs to save your sorry ass.
EnJey0 19
Not all cops are bad or corrupt. Most are trying to do their job and make a living, putting their life on the line doing so. Show some more respect towards officers, their jobs are dangerous.
UserError94 18
Ive only met like 2 nice cops in my life. The rest are dicks and racially profile me. I've bean searched, breathalyzed, pulled over 5 times, and accused of smoking weed because "my tongue was green" all in the last two years. Never got a ticket cause I wasn't doing anything wrong.
Dale_shackleford 13
"Racial profiled"? Your profile is white. And I have a hard time believing most people who say only met a couple good cops and about a million bad ones. I hope you guys get in situations where you need cops, cause you are probably idiots who couldn't fend for yourselves without them.
Stuffaluffagus 25
I was in a situation where I needed the cops to "save my ass", all they did was **** me over and try to send me to jail
beef_weezle 13
****.
traveveland 16
You're white as **** shut the **** up with this "racial profiling"
R2Y2 22
Most cops probably wouldn't want to deal with your crybaby ass anyways.
fuckfuckityfuck 16
He looks like he may be Hispanic. A lot of Hispanic and Spanish speakers don't say that they're white in the USA.
friedpwnadge 25
The police are a plague to human rights.
lantz4levi 19
Well than they aren't dicks. If they were dicks they would write you up. Quit being a whiny ass because you get pulled over. Plenty of people are raped mugged and murdered everyday.
lantz4levi 19
You clearly weren't in the right then. You sound like a drug dealer who called the cops because a drug deal went bad
SataySticks 13
Do white people have a race? Yes. So yea they can be racially profiled same as an black person. It's just not seen as racist because White is not a minority.
TheOneButNotOnly 15
You really asked for that one. Shouldn't have done it regardless.
Krypt1c 11
I'd say it's a ticket well earned. Totally worth it
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Well that just stinks.
swanheart 35
Who would have thought spraying cow shit all over a cars windshield would have negative consequences? At least no harm was done - except to your wallet.
itsjustchey 2
And to the windshield and the poor guy that has to clean the car
zaise_chsa 19
Talk about instant crap CARma
R2Y2 22
What
extremereviews 26
You tried too hard
cailey1234567890 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I have a pretty old car, and it looks slow. So people will try to automatically pass me, and it drives me nuts because they always end up going insanely slow. So I just speed up to stop them. Anyways long story short I accidentally tried to a race a cop XD
Mynamewontfi 40
That's a dick move and potentially dangerous.
littlekellilee 45
I have a smart car so everyone attempts to pass me too. I don't mind. I normally end up passing then later anyways, it else they get huge tickets for going way too fast after passing me.
midjigirl 13
Look at #42. It's a lesson you should probably learn.
cailey1234567890 24
I don't do it when merging lanes. If there's two lanes and they're just trying to fly past me I speed up.
cailey1234567890 24
And definitely not a two way. Only on one ways and never for merging. If they're merging half then time I end up having to damn near stop because they're the one that speed up to not let me pass.
sk8erd 15
holy shit... Everyone needs to lighten the **** up! This made me laugh xD
brocho 26
Yeah, that's stupid and potentially dangerous. People do that to me all the time too, but rather than playing games and trying to keep them from passing like a child, I just pass them if they end up going too slow for my liking. Yeah, it's extremely annoying when people pass you only to slow down in front of you, but pacing them and potentially causing road rage isn't a good way to deal with it.