Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I can't seem to get off having sex with my wife. I've tried going to brothels, but I just end up watching YouTube shorts with the girls after failing to finish. The only thing that gets me off now is masturbating in my bed to the memory of an affair I had with a woman back in 2020. FML
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, and every day for the past five months since I got married, whenever my husband and I try to have sex, I think of it as "wifely duties" and it turns me off so much. I can't stop, and we haven't had sex once. My husband is frustrated and angry, and keeps commenting that he should have known this would happen. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
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Top comments
xsupermanx 0
You're not doing something right...don't blame her lol.
hsm450 0
Have you ever thought about maybe she doesn't want to have sex with you because you pound to ****?
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Comments (64)
spank_u_veryhard 0
youredoingitwrong
hsm450 0
Have you ever thought about maybe she doesn't want to have sex with you because you pound to ****?
Valentina525 0
what the hell is happening to people in this world too much hassle that's just sad I feel bad for ur wife
iluvpandas 0
she has an asshole of a husband....
darkraynos 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why does everyone assume that he is the jackass? Women can be just as bad.
perdix 31
Back in the days of dial-up, getting my wife in the mood was easier than downloading Internet ****. With cable, the **** is just so much easier! Do you think it is coincidence that they call it BROADband? I will say that I am a good husband because I always give my wife first dibs on my load of ****. If she doesn't want it, "Hello, keezmovies!"
FilthMerchant 0
This is the attitude you need, if you look to sex as you being the person who wants it and her the one who gives it, rather than a mutual wanting and giving, sex inevitably disappears from a relationship (to be fair, it disappears as something that happens between the two people in the relationship, it doesn't necessarily become something that neither party does)
nonnymouse 0
You might want to look into your attitude toward her and how you treat her. Maybe she doesn't want to sleep with you because you're an asshole. I know that's why I never felt like sleeping with my (now ex) husband.
Akai_fml 4
FHL for you not getting her in the mood.
FoundManyLemons 0
@OP: Ouch. I guess this wasn't an issue before the "I do." @nonnymouse: Why'd you marry him then? @perdix: Compromise, I like it.
perdix 31
Thank you, FoundManyLemons, I think with sensitivity like that, I could become the 21st century Alan Alda! "Hey, hon, can I blow my load all over your face, or should I just look up busty, deep-throating MILFs with shaved *******?"
omghehehe 0
"Sure sweetheart. Why don't you relieve yourself while I turn on your favorite prono. I'll take a raincheck this time. But, my face is in need of a good facial... Hmmm... Anyway, thanks for thinking of me (kiss on the cheek)." LOL!
perdix 31
omghehehe, You are very sweet offering to turn on the pr0n for me while I give you a facial, but call me an old-fashioned, starry-eyed romantic because I believe if you are going to suck my **** and let me come on your face that I should be giving you my full undivided attention. I mean, if you are going to smoke my pole and let me blow my load on you, I should watch you do it and help you wherever I can. Perhaps, I can push your head down and help you take that last inch -- you know, the other one ;) If you are going to do that for me, the deep-throating busty MILF with the shaved pussy is going to have to wait, because I want you to be the star of this *******. I hope you appreciate my sensitivity to your needs. :D
omghehehe 0
Oh my lord! LMAO Perdix!!! :D [clearing my throat and composing myself] Of course dear, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. But, no pushing the head down. Let the magic happen. Easy honey, easy... Look... no hands needed!* :D *Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only ;) LOL
a192837465 0
haha perdix is my hero!!!!!