Anonymous
Seattle, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
Anonymous
I don't know my strength
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Anonymous
Greensburg, United States
Stuck on amber
Today, my wife and mother of my kids said she doesn't want sex. Or a divorce. FML
Korisite
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
._.
Letchworth, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Who1s269
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Username
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Anonymous
Boston, United Kingdom
Affection breakdown
Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML
cap
Manhattan, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Last trip
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
2 Accommodating
🌶️ Spicy
Coupon time!
Today, my wife crushed my cell phone with a heavy plate. She offered to pay for it in sex, which I eagerly accepted. When I asked her for “a downpayment” an hour later, she looked at me like she’d accommodated this arrangement for far too long already. FML
Top comments
lordtumbles 9
Obviously, the concretes not as hard as you!
zandalee 20
Go buy a sexy red man-g-string, put a red rose between your teeth and go lay on your bed. Good luck.
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Comments (134)
lordtumbles 9
Obviously, the concretes not as hard as you!
mylifesucks_fml 1
or maybe the concretes 10x harder...
Alwayspullout 7
Did you hand her a pick and tell her to get to work then?
JKr3slEMO 5
ever thought about Viagra..?
TheStoryOfWazza 9
Get the message...she wants you to concrete it.
doctorhook86 25
Order some fresh cement. If she won't slob your knob, she might as well pour you a new driveway.
shift_love 13
Maybe you should pound her? Maybe you should Rock her world? Maybe you should do other various things you could do to concrete to her?
sonicgreg 12
Isn't this an oxymoron?
doctorhook86 25
88: Ever heard of a concrete vibrator? It's used for removing bubbles from freshly poured concrete. True story.
unknown_user5566 27
Doctor, a concrete vibrator? That sounds pretty intense. ;)
doctorhook86 25
115: The one I worked with was an industrial model, 18" long, 2" in diameter, and had a four horsepower electric motor. I'm sure it would "finish the job," but it probably kill you in the process.
logan1819 4
Sounds like a marriage problem that only dr Phil could help or Jerry springer
iliketurdles 7
Jerry Springer helps people? I thought he just brought forth the nations delinquents and let them fight or argue on stage for entertainment purposes.
TheStoryOfWazza 9
Oh yeah then they kill each other for entertainment purposes
Ray_of_midnight 23
I'd suggest Dan Savage as the advice columnist most likely to be able to offer useful assistance.
steelx3 4
I'd advise a real therapist.
SexySlayer1248 18
Damn sounds like she lost that lovin feelin
Osito2011 9
No more sexual healing!
videophone 0
Or maybe he sucks in bed, and she has a much better time hitting up concrete then wasting her precious time.
zandalee 20
Go buy a sexy red man-g-string, put a red rose between your teeth and go lay on your bed. Good luck.
22cute 17
Please dude, women don't work that way. Seduce her mind, her body will follow. Besides, few men look good in g-strings
zandalee 20
Am a woman actually. Way to my heart is through laughter. If my husband did that; I'd rugby tackle him to the bed!
Listerinekiss_fml 7
I think g-strings should only be worn by professionals like male strippers because op definitely will get a bad reaction from his wife probably an ass whoopin
mylifesucks_fml 1
I agree with 22. go get the "50 shades of grey" trilogy for her.
nightwanderer 6
46 If she has any taste that won't work I've heard it's a bad twilight rip off. So naturally it will suck just as badly if not worse than twilight
22cute 17
Lotta women of all ages loved the twilight books! Just saying.... It was only the movies that "sucked" and only because it attracted a nonreading audiance
miyaviichan 27
It's 'audience' but nice to know that you read...
SkoomaKi 28
She definitely the manly one. You can go use your vibrator now OP.
hwkfan1 10
Busty eh?
curlyfry33 8
There is no need to even talk, your picture says all there needs to be said
hwkfan1 10
No need to talk? I really don't think my picture says anything about me. You don't know anything about me at all actually. So please, don't judge people on. a funny picture they have.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
It's not that serious. He's just saying that your picture could have been your comment.
MissMae93 23
20 - Do you always freak out when people compliment you?
Shadomasta 5
20- Strong with you, the fail is.
TheStoryOfWazza 9
Fuzzy bunnies
a563 3
20- You have some grammatical errors in your comment. ;) I'm adding the smiley so you don't go apeshit on me like you did before!
hwkfan1 10
Wow. I read this in the morning after posting it last night at like 5 in the morning still up, and I realized how much I failed...
perdix 31
Why, of course, a jackhammer is nothing but a giant pneumatic vibrator! What man could compete with that?
Halti 4
legend
JOcoco 14
Hancock?
SirJamin 4
Yes! ^^
Jeffo193 13
Get her some concrete blocks, stand next to them - hard on a-swingin - and say "choose"
22cute 17
She already chose.
emilyjgraham 34
she chose busting up concrete... hence the fml.
DeVaughnS 5
How little are you exactly ? Hmm
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Probably just as little as you.
MissMae93 23
9 - That may not have to do with anything. He could be 8 inches, but when a woman's not in the mood, she's not in the mood. It's that simple.
Eliseopwns 22
Either way, she gets dirty, right? No? Okay.