dusk
United States
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
ShellShocked
United States
Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
Anonymous
Juicy
Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML
Dammit
Long Beach, United States
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
aelia_oups
Taverny, France
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Anonymous
Norwich, United States
Big tongue logging on
Today, I spent seven dollars to find out I’m allergic to kiwi. FML
Anonymous
Lebanon, United States
Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML
Anonymous
Ring of fire
Today, I learned the hard way that I'm allergic to a particular brand of tampon. FML
Anonymous
Saint Louis, United States
There was an attempt
Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact that both of my roommates are aware of. FML
djshahso
United States
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Top comments
kidwiththeface42 7
Too bad you don't live under the sea. I'm sure there's a real estate market for bachelor sponges.
UrLyfSuxx 0
Pineapple stand :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (306)
UrLyfSuxx 0
Pineapple stand :)
indielove 13
give it away?
GoW_Chick 15
Throw them at random pedestrians
Keyman1212 14
Sell to guys before they go on sexy dates. (some of you will get this)
jonan1212 5
Sell it to SpongeBob?
changesinme 0
Lifetime supply? Did they give you the tree or what!
TheSnakeDoctor20 17
26- It makes your **** sweet..
ICATiger 13
No cut holes in it and make a door and windows. Then get a sponge and act out episodes of spongebob!!!
AnonymousTroll 2
Just get non-chunky pineapple juice, because there are no pineapples in it! (old FML reference, I apologise if no one remembers)
smileeee_fml 0
I bet they're real nice pineapples. Wouldn't mind some? Thanks.
MfailK 0
enter a lifetime supply of epinephrine contest
Zeppelin1969 5
At least you've won something, unlike me. I never win.
littlegold 7
That is soo cool! I am watching spongebob ur totally physic!
Torva_fml 16
I feel bad for the people that had to test what foods effected the flavor of cum....
tannarox 0
OP must now spend the rest of their lifetime finding creative uses for pineapples.
HubbaBubba259_fml 0
Then sell the Pineapples and make a bunch of money!!!
hellbilly205 17
If you could send some towards CT i wouldnt complain OP
Mikex125 7
Throw them at you.
Horcruxer 0
These aren't even replies to the first comment.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
59 pineapples don't grow from trees.
I_lost_the_game 25
110- I don't think anyone is "physic"
The_Troller 14
(##}
wishfulmidget 0
Be like spongebob and bury or burn it.
4Legend 0
Speaking of Psychic give it to James Roday, I'm sure he'd appretiate it!
NeatNit 33
146 They don't? Then where do they grow?
tjv3 10
Christmas presents
FaZeClan 3
says the gay
Just_A_Panda 9
They grow from a spiny leaf plant on the ground...
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
^ that yes. They are grown from cutting the top leaf part of the pineapple off, and planting it.
CaptainCola 7
I'm curious where you would go to get a lifetime supply of pineapples
periwinkle95 10
Pineapples not only works with guys. It works on girls too; it makes them smell good there. I heard it's been scientifically proven. :D
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
253- being the one millionth non-hawaiian customer at the Dole Plantations, Oahu, Hawaii.
blushy 14
get creative there's lots you can do with it
newmanlyman3 8
so I am guessing 2 pineapple?
Kholonie 9
My brother is also allergic to pineapples. . . . I never thought I'd hear of another one
kelissa_fml 16
Give it to a friend? Or me?
SecretMe00 5
Or me! How did you manage to win a life-time supply of pineapples anyway?
JMTS 0
Why don't you sell them?
poopyfacegirl 28
I also love pineapples :)
EvilPotato 15
Or throw them at carolers.
Amrel 10
To much pineapple is actually really bad
npnptracking 7
This sounds like a fake FML..
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Well it was a shitty prize anyway. It's like someone re-paying you in gum.
asoptavlo14 6
No one ever pays me in gum :(
brianfantana32 10
What I'm wondering is what you did to win them
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Thank you 200 for getting that :)
lololog 0
Just donate them to spongebob so he can make his house into a mansion!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
Nope, Chuck Testa
blue_mist 7
Haha
CooperDelton 0
I want pineapples pleez?
ninjaboy18 6
When life gives you pineapples.. Make pineapple juice
ikickgingers 15
Still allergic, though...
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
You could make juice, or alternatively, build a catapult and launch pineapples onto the freeway.
SecretMe00 5
19--- how does your name fit perfectly with this FML? Lol, nice!
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Don't get any ideas, being flung out of a catapult is not as fun as it sounds. Don't ask how I know.
DrewFluIngle 10
#46 Yeahhhh Skyrim is the best game ever xD what race are you? I'm argoinian or that lizard one haha. (:
Gunplay 6
I used to play skyrim, than I took a ****** to the dick.
The_Troller 14
I though you were supposed make combustible lemons and burn their house down.
angrymexican 8
19 I see one flaw in your description, you said fus ro da when it's fus ro dah
efemel94 7
Give them to the bikini bottom county council
_Vamp_ 9
When life hands me pineapples, I make beef stew.
XxHoPPoxX 8
Noob -_-
HALAL_fml 0
I see wat u did there
Tess_fml 7
Well that sucks. Give them to someone who enjoys them?
honeybuncher 3
abused women like pineapples. so do hobos(:
chocol8m 6
Random, Disappointing comment. And mean to hobos. they are people too
DocBastard 40
Honeybuncher - what the **** is wrong with you? "Jokes" about abused women are never funny. NEVER. Asshole.
McDonaldsworker 4
Hey #22, no way! Your trippin dude, You must live in like Hawaii if that's what hobos around your city like. lol it would be funny to see hobos eating pineapples! lol Good joke! WTF with the abuse part though?
kidwiththeface42 7
Too bad you don't live under the sea. I'm sure there's a real estate market for bachelor sponges.
CalCommando 6
I can hook you up with a guy who specializes in the fruit real estate market. His name is the Fruit Dealer!
McDonaldsworker 4
No shit! I can hook you up with a guy that lives in a shady neighborhood in my city who specializes in the illegal rug* smuggling & dealing market. His name is the rug* dealer! *not to be confused with the much more safer and less harmful job of being a Drug Dealer!!!
spearodude 0
how does one even go about winning a life time supply of pineapples?
Buttsexpirate 9
Sell them all for a dollar! You'll make millions!
pfx2_fml 15
Actually I think you would make a dollar...
pfx2_fml 15
Actually I think you would make a dollar...
friedchickenpie 14
Actually, you would make millions. Do the math. Unlimited pineapples. A pineapple equals one dollar. Unlimited dollars!
zombicidal 11
^obviously doesn't get the joke
Torva_fml 16
Maybe we should dumb it down for him. Sell them all for a dollar implies one dollar, TOTAL. I'd say that OP would be getting ripped off. :) Buttsex meant to say "sell them for a dollar each"
Buttsexpirate 9
Yes, yes I apologize. All that time at sea has messed with me barnacle brain.
rachel_potter 13
Who uses a lifetime supply of pineapples as a prize?
GoW_Chick 15
Farmers market?
thisisafunnyname 12
Dole
upyourzlolz 11
Spongebob.
Torva_fml 16
The answer is obviously a radio station in Mexico.
chili10 18
At least you won something. Maybe you can donate them to your local homeless shelter or something.
korkygirl78 1
My thoughts exactly...donate them :)
anjtrg_1112 23
Give them to me?(:
nicjac 3
**** that, spread the wealth!:)