Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML
Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML
Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML
Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML
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Top comments
lylotrezor 20
I guess you're a free elf now.
cosmosis 12
Happy Birthday OP:) congrats on making it to 18!
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Comments (86)
cosmosis 12
Happy Birthday OP:) congrats on making it to 18!
zandalee 20
This is a wonderful age OP! 18 rocks. Happy birthday! Go out with your friends and have a blast. :)
AKGirlinSD 20
I'm loving the optimism in this thread. I'm actually guessing that the parents are going to surprise OP. Fly OP somewhere tropical, where the socks, that are too small, won't be needed anyways and there are pineapples galore :-). They are clues. In a week to a month, we will be reading an FML that says, "Today, my parents are taking me on vacation to a place I've always wanted to go. I've been mad at them since my 18th birthday because they gave me a pineapple and socks that were too small. FML!"
catlover5299 18
OP was allergic to pineapple, so wouldn't going to a tropical area with lots of pineapples be harmful? (op I feel you as I'm allergic to pineapples also)
Nilorak 24
Happy birthday op!
jgriff79 23
They want you out of their house.
Pleonasm 36
It sounds like they really want you to have a good night tonight! The pineapple is so that you can drink five shots of 'Red Dragon,' wake up the next day hungover and wonder about the 'pineapple incident" and the socks aren't for your feet!
vanity113 9
Awkward moment when the drinking age in America is 21 invalidating your comment
Pleonasm 36
Somehow I don't think everyone waits until they are 21 to start drinking.
UtterCatastrophe 4
Vomit-free since '93!
vanity113 9
Yea completely agree but I don't think it would be the parents main focus to get their kid wasted enough to be hung over the next day?
Pleonasm 36
It wasn't to be taken at face value; it's just a reference made jokingly and the implications should be neglected.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Stuff the pineapple into the socks, set it alight and leave it on the doorstep.
Catkam623 27
Make sure you tell the girl you wake up to that you aren't married before she climbs out the window
darwinism 30
Play with their minds. Say "Thanks mom and dad! I was so worried that you wouldn't understand my pineapple fetish. And now you give me socks as well, I wont have to mess up my sheets. Do you have some lotion I could use? I'll call you when I'm done for fruit salad" Good luck with that. Maybe next time you will get something more practical for you.
lylotrezor 20
I guess you're a free elf now.
skellingtonfart 18
Hahaha, excellent.
Rumbelle_fml 22
#8, you are an A+ human. Stay awesome.
lylotrezor 20
10, 59, thanks. :D
jrsyshoregirl86 27
& now can live alone under the sea like spongebob
Imhere4fml 24
First thought that came to mind: they want you to be like Spongebob.
SomeRandomGuy15 18
They also ordered a snail and a spatula, but they have yet to arrive.
freakinfantastic 9
Welcome to adulthood where things don't always go how you want.
chosha_fml 27
Yes, but I think adulthood is supposed to go better than having parents who would give you food you're allergic to for your birthday.
your_ma 27
There are stories like this all the time "it was my birthday today and all I got was a packet of gum and my sister got a three bed detached house and a new car so she wouldn't feel left out" "I turned 21 today and my mum held me down while my dad punched me in the face for my present". Seriously who the **** are these parents? I'm not saying this isn't true but what is wrong with your parents?!
btstig 11
The pineapple is a form of telling a person that they had over stayed their welcome, without being rude and saying it to their face. The socks are from Harry Potter signaling that said child is now set free. Wake the **** up and realize that some parents are cool as shit.
Skymone 6
"Master has given Dobby a sock. Dobby is free." Somehow, the image of Dobby holding a sock and a pineapple came into my head when I read this. Sorry for you, OP, but it IS kind of funny.