Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
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Top comments
collegegirl8 0
how does drawing on your lips with a sharpie remotely feel like putting on chapstick?
mylifesucks52 0
you can use nail polish remover. it wont taste good but its that or sharpie. you can also use rubbing alcohol
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Comments (160)
leggomyeggo 0
sharpie really isn't that hard to get off.. it'll just take some scrubbing.
Osakhomen 0
I'm pretty sure your sense of smell is still working when you wake up. YDI
chunkymonkey618 0
How do you confuse Sharpie and Chapstick? Oh well. Just use some rubbing alcohol.
mich23 10
wow, hopefully it was a red sharpie, its better than black or green or any other sharpie color
annie_rae 0
i agree with number 1. it's not at all the same feeling. chapstick is gooey and sharpies are wet and pointy, haha. wow. fyl.
CaptainBaconMan 0
#1, When you're half asleep you don't usually think about things like that until it's too late.
maverick21703 0
the irony in all this is that chapstick plus a bit of rubbing will actually get the sharpie right off you.
RyanRaygun 0
Hopefully it's an interview for you to be the next Harley Quinn.
ellebell 0
grab some hair spray and finger nail polish remover and start scrubbing!!!
Tick_fml 0
OK, a sharpie wouldn't smell nor feel like chapstick/lipstick/lip balm/Burt's bees, even Vaseline. You better start scrubbing lol