Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter first. When I got to the interview, I got a weird look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I went in for an interview with a firm where I'd done some interning before. After shaking hands with both the directors, I went to shake hands with one of the director's wives, who also works there. Turns out she was going for a hug and kiss on the cheek. I ended up kissing her on the lips. FML
Today, I had an admissions interview at my dream college. I spent hours practicing questions and picking the perfect outfit. It was not until after the interview that I realized I'd scratched a pimple while waiting, and my forehead had been smeared with blood the entire time. FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML
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Top comments
Steve95401 49
You should have ducked into a bathroom before your interview for a final check of your appearance. Better luck on your next interview.
TheEpicKitten 20
Hopefully they understand
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Comments (51)
TheEpicKitten 20
Hopefully they understand
08zw 19
yeah at least lipstick alone can't reveal that it was indeed, mom, & not a significant other.
failalltheway 22
That's nasty. Come on mom
_kyleG_ 34
Commas are important... Ick.
arano 29
So is spelling. He said come, not cum. You people are so immature sometimes.
AbtractAngela 17
"Come" is also used by some people as "cum".
kfchicken 31
doesn't mean it's right
Steve95401 49
You should have ducked into a bathroom before your interview for a final check of your appearance. Better luck on your next interview.
PsychicBulwark 4
Ok good, as long as I wasn't the only one who thought it bizarre that someone walked into a "big interview" without even looking at themselves in a mirror.
HersheySquirts 17
OP could have been running late.
Steve95401 49
Using the mirror on your car's sun visor would have been better than not checking at all.
False_Stupidity 42
Running late for an interview is also a big no no.
iShanny 13
She kissed your chin?
PsychicBulwark 4
Big boys use mirrors to check themselves before going in. Were you needing mommy to do it?
onlychildFTW 34
He was fine after mommy changed his diaper and kissed his chin. Haha.
BantasaurusRex 13
As long as the interviewer didn't see it as too much of a faux pas
hersheykisses511 18
did he tell you looked beautiful, and that the shade really complemented your complexion.
hellnosucka 27
why was the lipstick on your chin? did she kiss you on the chin? it just sounds like a strange kiss area.
_kyleG_ 34
As long as you didn't give the interviewer too much lip, he shouldn't have had a stick up his ass about it. Hopefully he just glossed over it.
inutaru 14
I can't tell if I'm super stoned or if you inserted lipstick puns on purpose
lorsha123 3
They were obviously intentional with their puns young chap. They smacked their lip puns right in that comment.
Damarcus 22
did anyone else think of the SpongeBob episode where his grandma gave him a kiss before he went to work?
bibble27 9
Hopefully Squidward wasn't conducting the interview. Or any of the judgemental citizens of Bikini Bottom. Why was it such a crime his grandma loved him? He was the only person on that show with loved ones. No one even knows the "MY LEG" Guy's name. Excuse that random rant. I get passionate about my cartoons.
lennon_ 16
His name is Fred. (:
bibble27 9
#31. I stand corrected