Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
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Top comments
collegegirl8 0
how does drawing on your lips with a sharpie remotely feel like putting on chapstick?
mylifesucks52 0
you can use nail polish remover. it wont taste good but its that or sharpie. you can also use rubbing alcohol
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Comments (160)
gardensun11 0
you put sharpie on chapped irritated lips then went back to sleep? and a sharpie marker didnt burn? BS
Bunbu 8
It comes off, dumbass.
lowcapacityx 0
I don't know how you couldn't tell when you touched the sharpie. When you opened the sharpie you couldn't smell it either? O_O You need to work on both of your sense.
jewel5 0
Haha, am I the only one with a "Great Lips, Buy Now!" lip cream advertisement on the side of this FML? :]
Nemo89 0
You'd think you would have noticed when you lips were still chapped.... But how is that even remotely possible! Sharpies smell strong as hell... I seriously hope you were drunk when this happened...
cantth1nk0fnam3 3
i don't understand why your chapped lips would be the first thing you'd think about when you wake up but ok
lady4 0
HOW THE **** DO YOU MISTAKE A SHARPIE WITH A CHAPSTICK?? FAKE!!
mutantcow 0
agree with #10 >< you must be super duper blind, and also incapable of smelling.
xFusionBluex 0
it'll come off... permenant markers never stay permanent unless it's tattoo that has been embedded into your skin. rub like crazy and you will have red lips... no need for lips stick... although.. how did you NOT smell the sharpie and mistaken it so easily for chapstick...
tootsieroll 0
If you were interviewing for clown burger you would have got the job!!!