Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
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Top comments
shaPOW 0
why does everyone on fml insist on using the phrase "explosive diarrhea"?
dino_witha_cape 0
look on the bright side. at least it wasn't a 10 hour transatlantic flight
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Comments (89)
Blardo 0
that happens dont know why he would dislike you
commietaco 0
first!
lolfood 24
How would you react to someone ******** their pants beside you?
darkimmortal777 6
lol ew
Amkii 0
How do you know he was single? Just because he's not married doesn't mean he's not seeing anyone. Or do you talk to hot strangers about their love lives often? Anyway, it's not like you were going to shit your pants in front of him. How is this bad? I just hope you were sitting on the aisle.
qwerty8788 4
probably bcause he doesn't have a wedding ring dumbass
jjpavo 0
doesnt mean he does have a gf, dumbass
peachykeen13 0
when I'm flying the people next to me often start a friendly conversation. maybe he was the one to bring up that he was single. and "explosive" implies that she couldn't control it.
shaPOW 0
why does everyone on fml insist on using the phrase "explosive diarrhea"?
angelnoir 0
it seems like everyone on fml has "explosive diarrhea"
mbeasley14 0
Frag out!
forthepainx3 0
lmao, win ^^
cecilia_weasley 0
Ask for Imodium? Or pepto bismol. Owch, girl
Thassodar 0
Let me put it this way: There's a fetish for everything. For all you know this guy may blow his load to chicks having explosive diarrhea. Don't worry about it is my motto.
dhooks111490 8
Don't worry about HAS to be your motto. With a face like that I would be so depressed if I cared. So good for you incredibly weird looking black dude
robbietherabbit 0
what did it explode in your pants while you were sitting there?
dino_witha_cape 0
look on the bright side. at least it wasn't a 10 hour transatlantic flight
Bobby64 29
Exactly! And it could have been TWO attractive single guys. Stay optimistic, OP! ^_^
lovepulse 0
OUCH! that really sucks
redroses5 0
You think you're ******? At least you didn't know anyone. I got explosive diarrhea the other day during a test. I had to sit there because the teacher wouldn't allow make-ups. I reached the bathroom, but before I could pull my pants down I pooped myself. Now that's ****** up- try walking to your car on a crowded college campus with your pants full of shit. Good thing I didn't run into anyone.. but still embarrassing as hell. And I had to clean up my car afterward because of the smell FML.
stopthestupid 5
why not throw out your underwear?