Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML
Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML
Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview, then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, only to see that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML
Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
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Top comments
collegegirl8 0
how does drawing on your lips with a sharpie remotely feel like putting on chapstick?
mylifesucks52 0
you can use nail polish remover. it wont taste good but its that or sharpie. you can also use rubbing alcohol
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Comments (160)
danny_ 0
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
Arlitto 0
you seriously didn't smell the fumes when you put the sharpie that close to your face???? I'm sorry, but that's stupidity on your part. And i agree with eighty-three XD
sensual_kidney 0
who the hell gets up and says "O, my lips feel CHAPPED! Let's put some chapaid on it!!" before they shower or brush their teeth or anything like that? YDI for being an idiot in general.
sugarspyce 0
agree with #83. AND seriously, how can you not notice it is a sharpie and not a chapstick? - I say you deserved it!
Shanny_fml 0
lol this is so fake, you couldnt have been that sleepy.
thinkinghurtzzz 0
I call total BS. A normal person would've been able to tell the difference. A mentally challenged person wouldn't have put this on FML nor would they have a job interview. If you're gonna try to be funny online, make the story more believable.
effyourlife_ 0
okay even if you're ridiculously blind without your glasses. i don't think that means your other senses automatically fail?
peacelovephotos 0
wear dark lipstick :D
peazeful 0
I agree with #1, how does it feel the same? u should hv realized immediately~lolz~but I'm sry to hear that~
hersheyk0 0
this is a blatant lie. period.