Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was told to “use Chapstick, for God’s sake” for the hundredth time in my life. I have tried Chapstick, Aquaphor, Burt's Bees, Vaseline, Shea butter, coconut oil, and Bag Balm. I drink 8 glasses of water a day. I’ve been to doctor after doctor, and nothing will fix my crusty, dry lips. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML
Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML
Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML
Today, I got my first kiss. He had an allergic reaction to my chapstick, and broke out in hives. FML
Today, I have what is probably a cold sore on my upper lip. I also have a mustache, which keeps rubbing against it. Because of this, no matter what I do, it stings. The next few days are fixing to be very, very long and miserable. FML
Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML
Today, the lip balms I ordered online finally arrived in the mail. After trying one out, my lips had an allergic reaction. It's a 4-pack. FML
Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML
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Top comments
Billsonhamsen 17
It might not be the same condition I have something that sounds similar. For the last few years I've used Australian Gold pharmaceutical grade lanolin lip balm. There's one kind that's 100% lanolin but it's a little bit too soft for me so I like the one that has medical grade lanolin and sunflower seed wax in it. It's a little bit expensive but well worth it.
Hangryko 32
Call the police, have them charged with assault.
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Comments (3)
Billsonhamsen 17
It might not be the same condition I have something that sounds similar. For the last few years I've used Australian Gold pharmaceutical grade lanolin lip balm. There's one kind that's 100% lanolin but it's a little bit too soft for me so I like the one that has medical grade lanolin and sunflower seed wax in it. It's a little bit expensive but well worth it.
Hangryko 32
Call the police, have them charged with assault.
UsernameNotRandom 10
Wow...whoever it was, you do not need them in your life assaulting you (or even touching you without your consent). Seriously. Get rid. If you allow them this one attack, who knows what else they think they can get away with.