Funnymann
United States
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Maidstone, United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML
Amy
Prince George, Canada
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Anonymous
Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML
argh
Houston, United States
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
permanently scarred
Today, I was assaulted and knocked out by a girl at school for talking to her boyfriend. I woke up in the emergency room. After she knocked me unconscious, she took a knife and carved her initials into my face. FML
Girl-of-very-little-brain
Canada
Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Bonk
United States
Self report
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
HomeAlone
United States
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Hayleey_079
United Kingdom
Today, a picture fell off of the wall in the middle of the night. It hit me smack bang in the middle of face. FML
Top comments
luvuall 0
It was Jigglypuff
susieKiute 0
paranormal activity?
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Comments (228)
biancster 0
lol this is an MLIA
KHADOOZLE 0
YOU NEED TO CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS.
saranottelling 7
That was me, OP. Sorry, but you just looked so calm while I watched you sleep that I couldn't resist it. P.S. I also stole your sharpie Best Wishes, Your Stalker ~~~~~~~~~~ Just joking (I know some people would've believed this.)
xvolcom893x 0
hahaha looks like you got a little pedophile sneaking in your house
bubber 0
I have woke up with love notes and phone numbers either sharpied or written in lipstick on me befor with no recolection of the previous night. In my case I had a pretty good idea of what happened and only once was it an FML. What the hell kind of bender were you on to do it to yourself?
DeathShad0 1
Are you saying Ghosts did it?
jonny2x4 0
Sounds like someone went off their meds.
Boy_Flow 0
really dude? you need to hide your key better, or not give it out to people. this one is totally on you.
cutiepie87 0
Burglar got a sense of humor.
Epic_Phale615 0
u could be sleep walking and your first logical thought was it was anyone but you. find your sharpees and look for clues to sleepw walking :)