Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Bittie
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Ow ow ow
Today, a few days after getting my nipples repierced, my man initiated sex. Normally, I love it when he's a little rough on my tits, and I guess he forgot about my not-entirely-healed nips. Let's just say sex ended REAL fast. FML
Cool move, dude
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Top comments
lucifer69_fml 0
YDI for having nipples
NeonWar__ 0
wow. ouch. You must be a heavy sleeper if you can sleep through someone playing with your nipples so hard it actually bruises them! lol
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Comments (114)
cel123456789 0
first!
shoieb9 14
So?
karmaSUCKS321453 0
you is no first. now go be a good girl. make him a sammich and then take a nap an he will love you long time.
Iamnotmyself 17
Well, well OP, now what have we learned today? TBH I don't care but is there a less obvious lesson to be learned out of this other than don't random date people?
MissMay18 5
Where does it say he's a random? He's her boyfriend and they are obviously comfortable staying the night together... It's not his/her fault she/he didn't know his/her man was a creeper... A lot of the time your significant other might act normal for a while until they feel comfortable and then bring out the weird stuff. Not uncommon at all.
GoingCommando93 14
Missmay, men obviously do not have breasts, therefore, cut out the he/she his/her politically correct crap, you're not going to offend any radical feminists. OP is obviously a female.
Skyrim123 3
Congrats
ozone357 4
Men have nipples though
trizzieb 0
I can't help myself.
xDyah 0
oh wow...that's odd...
lucifer69_fml 0
YDI for having nipples
hadi_brown 0
LOOOL... technically
kittykat1501 31
EVERYONE has nipples you jerk!
mel4joe2015 21
You have won the internet
Apsey 0
sounds like u need a new boyfriend
NeonWar__ 0
wow. ouch. You must be a heavy sleeper if you can sleep through someone playing with your nipples so hard it actually bruises them! lol
DreamerofWorlds 0
Ouch. And number 7 took the words right out of mouth... er, fingers. FYL
cel123456789 0
can I play with them?
SiLvEr_070 5
BHAHAHAHAHA
Comicmischief 0
Nooo, silly. You're a ****! :3
shoieb9 14
haha...
GanjAxZermA 0
that's really awkard