Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML
Today, ever since I let my boyfriend touch my boobs, he thinks it's appropriate to grope me whenever he feels like it. Even talking to him about it doesn't seem to stop him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
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Top comments
nublets 12
Boobs can make men stupid, i think its in our DNA or something. And maybe see if you can bounce things off his junk and see how excited he is about it? :p
zojieeu 6
Just treat it as a compliment that you have bouncy boobs
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Comments (143)
nublets 12
Boobs can make men stupid, i think its in our DNA or something. And maybe see if you can bounce things off his junk and see how excited he is about it? :p
OhDearBetrayal 25
No amount of words could ever express how appropriate your picture is for your comment.
cookie_3008 4
Boys will be boys.*sigh*
Michael_92 20
and men will be men.
hellbilly205 17
And zombies will be zombies.
starman02 12
And that's the end of that
MCuss 1
Don't go in the army really bad choice
ShortNotice113 5
And how does the army have any relevance?
Michaelsgirl04 9
my best guy friend started poking mine once out of nowhere. when I asked what he was doing his response was "it's squishy"
hellbilly205 17
I assume 53 is talking to me, and has a reading problem im already in the army.
Silentstrike 11
I'm going into the Army. Canadian Infantry or Combat engineers. It will be the best cjoice of my life... As the saying goes: "my life is my God, My country, My corps." Hooah, and stay safe man.
ThisIsMyReign 4
86 - No, he was talking about OP going to the army. He is implying all the guys in the army don't have better things to do but, to bounce things off OPs ****.
jerryk 2
Read his profile it talks about going in the military
domking1315 20
It's funny how 45's picture goes great with this FML (even though theyre not exactly bouncing stuff off)
octopussperm125 18
Id love my girl bouncing little things off of my dong. Depending on wat it is and how hard
muFilter 19
If by "things" you mean OP's boobs and boo-tay, I'm thinkin' boyfriend will be plenty excited. Alas, I know that is not what you meant by "things". :(
cidcarrera 14
My bad accidentally hit thumbs down.
zojieeu 6
Just treat it as a compliment that you have bouncy boobs
evig_fml 16
Ahem (second time doing this on the second comment of an FML in two days) *derp voice* YaY!!! B0oBiEs *eye twitches at himself*
petraphotoDOTca 6
pics/video? I demand evidence!
ibenj 1
Throw a half brick at his penis to see if it bounces off.
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Ahhh brasketball the sport of kings
garebear13 4
Tidiliwinks?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I remember hearing about it on Bearenstein bears when I was little... Does that count?
emeraldisle 30
I'd do the same thing if I were him.
hellbilly205 17
As would i, but that makes us immature, but what guy wouldn't?
emeraldisle 30
I'm not a guy though. I'm just a chick who likes boobs. :P
Dracoboxer357 36
61- Nothing wrong with that. Boobs can be equally fun for all, for a variety of reasons. And I was starting to wonder when we'd all get together again over the topic of boobs and restate how nice they are. ;p
bizarre_ftw 22
I've been wondering for quite a while if there is any other thing in the world that is so basically useless (unless you're feeding a kid) and yet so well loved, obsessed over, talked about, fought about, and found use for than boobs?
Dracoboxer357 36
100- Well....uh....religion? (Didn't say Believing in a higher power was useless, but tell me there's anything else in the world that people debate over, fight over and obsess over more than their concept of a God) (Edit: This is so getting moderated...)
luckyd880 12
Well that's just pure talent.
luckyd880 12
Come on people. Have a sense of humor. I am joking. Y'all are too serious!
hellbilly205 17
I thumbed you up, it does take some talent to master this particular skill.
ALlamaOnFire 20
Just throw stuff at his penis every time he looks away:)
hellbilly205 17
But it wont bounce off of it plus i don't think that could count as payback, as i'm sure he wouldn't mind it unless it was a heavy object of sorts.
sealed_with_a_sm 2
Like a shoe! Ha!
luckyd880 12
Why would his penis be out...lol I could see her boobs being out (as in cleavage) from a low cut shirt. But... I would hope her bfs penis is not constantly out to throw things at...hahaha otherwise they have a problem.
plaguer 26
I am surprised you couldn't feel them hit.
coried91 28
I'm pretty sure she felt them considering she knew it was happening when she looked away. Unless, of course, she has eyes elsewhere.
plaguer 26
Yeah, you're right.
Candice0687 0
So then tell him I know that you like bouncing small things off my boobs, but I don't like you bouncing your small penis off my boobs
hellbilly205 17
What does his dick have to do with this?
starman02 12
... To far Candice .. To far
laurbear12 3
47 - you're 21 years old and don't know the difference between 'to' and 'too'? Really??
iliketurdles 7
56, you're 25 years old and you don't know better than to correct someone's grammar on the internet? What is wrong with you? :o
starman02 12
Wow 56.. Just.. WOW.. I apologize in the biggest apologies if my writing made you so angry you had to waste 10 seconds of your life.. This is how Many ***** I give---> 0
sunworshiper 10
Put on a sweater or something so it doesn't bounce as well.. He will get bored and stop.
Michael_92 20
Shouldn't have to. He should be mature enough to handle himself.
sunworshiper 10
Refer to comment #1 "boobs can make men stupid." I have dated guys with university degrees yet they still find my boobs fascinating lol. I have just learned to live with it.
94yhy 8
Well, I don't think you've told him not to. He must've thought you didn't mind after the first time.
bizarre_ftw 22
Or he knows she doesn't like it hence why he waits for her to turn her head away to bounce said objects
boredbf 10
he probably waits till she turns her head so that she doesn't try to block it from hitting her boobs.