Indianagirl94
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Scott
United States
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
sore
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
SkeetinKeaton
United States
Baby fever
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Milk Dispenser
Herriman, United States
Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML
Alwayspotato
Bittie
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML
Nasty
Tallahassee, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
possiblyoverweight
United Kingdom
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
not that kinda squirting
🌶️ Spicy
Exploding milk ****
Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML
Top comments
SeniorHaG 4
I guess your baby is hungry.
prioo 6
He just wanted a little midnight snack without having to go all the way to the fridge.
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Comments (112)
SeniorHaG 4
I guess your baby is hungry.
ICastillo 25
Got Milk?
AKGirlinSD 20
1, apparently OP has at least two babies now. I've been told it doesn't taste good at all so I will never try it. I don't know why people do.
bandeek 30
I was told that my breastmilk tastes good. It's sweet.
picturescrazy 24
#27 ~They try it out of curiosity, of course. I sure as hell would!
Chunkylover76 4
It does taste good! Kind of like cantaloupe melon! And another plus....it makes "play time" hot as hell!! ;D
_wraith 15
I've heard it tastes a little like melted vanilla ice cream.
onlychildFTW 34
Have you changed his diapers OP? He might get cranky if you don't. Yeah apparently breast milk is sweet.
ShyAnn29 15
58, I've heard that also
StalkerChick 13
Don't judge me, but I tasted mine. It's pretty sweet.
quickcynic 6
The flavor of each persons breast milk depends on diets, their body, and the person who is tasting it.
seyrose 8
that sucks. *runs for cover and hides*
Pleonasm 36
He looked like a right tit when she found out.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Tell him he has his own white stuff.
CrissyyyS2 22
He's just making sure it doesn't get on the sheets.
CueTheMusic 22
You taste good, take it as a compliment.
KiddNYC1O 22
Kinky!
tacojauns 45
Has your husband just watched 'Weeds" recently?
aFreedom127 9
Hmmm...try offering him a sandwich instead.
bonsaiboy26 1
A sandwich lol I like that
iOceanus 18
47 - Who doesn't like sandwiches?
UncleMuscles 5
Or offer him some Nesquick to go with that.
DogStew 20
I approve of this message!
crymore007 11
He woke you up with that?! what a noob!
annie_nk 23
A boob noob, perhaps?
CharresBarkrey 16
A boob noob indeed.
gc327072 31
A bewb newb.
prioo 6
He just wanted a little midnight snack without having to go all the way to the fridge.
turkturkington 13
So, he's a food-taster. You know those lads who check food isn't poisonous for important people. He was obviously doing it out of love for your baby... Nah, actually, it's just a wee bit weird, to be honest... Tell him to get to the kitchen and pour himself a glass!
laden_swallow09 35
Why on earth would you want to get up out of your warm bed, walk across the cold floor, scuff around for a clean glass, be blinded by the light in the refrigerator, and gingerly pour a heavy milk jug into a glass without spilling, when you can stay in bed and drink straight from the tap!?
kobelstone23 13
Breast milk contains more vitamins than cow milk! He was just trying to be healthy!
ihatemy 5
Such accurate details
ImYoursAlways 3
Why would he get up to get something to drink when he's got milk in bed? Just kidding, that sucks that he woke you up.
dragonfuego 11
You're right about being woke up, but it doesn't suck that he sucks. Boobies are awesome especially when you add milk.