Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
No bacon????? This was so intense it almost made me cry... I mean, who cares about money when you can have bacon :(
nika10105 14
Go get a job
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Comments (124)
me_gusta_eso 1
**** bitches. Eat bacon.
EvilCupcake8361 9
...I shall live by this motto for the rest of my life
ifuckmonsters 5
This is terrible. Bacon is a necessity to life. Go over and hijack that shit.
perdix 31
So, you can't bring home the bacon in either sense. Evidently, you have no personality or you'd be able to charm some bacon from your neighbor.
cheefer 0
Maybe we're missing the metaphor here. Perhaps OP lives next door to a cop and his wife went Hannibal Lecter on him. Don't say it's not possible because I'll prove it if necessary.
scoop15928 4
I have a job, but nobody pays me in bacon. All I get are these stupid trident layers packages.
jellyD 1
That's a hoot!
Miss_Kristen 10
You belong on the owl FML
rebelfarmer19 0
13 i compmetely agree with you. People need to get over acceptin handouts from the communist runnin this country and ACTUALLY WORK FOR THE SHIT THEY WANT OR NEED.
luckyducky_7sq 10
23 i complelementejtnelty agree with you. peeple need to stop uzing spell check to get by and lern how too spel! Seriously, chill out dude.
21jason 9
Get a job on a farm then u would have money and bacon!
cntryiscntrywide 0
being broke sucks, doesn't it op? id go over there and say, " I want bacon right meow! "
upyourzlolz 11
Well... If you're that desperate there's always a few solutions: 1) you can STRIP 2) you can start "beggin" 3) chew him out. God. My puns suck.
Spankmymonkeylol 6
FAIL !
punchline_fml 5
Mmmmmm bacon :)