Today, my bike slipped on ice and I slid spectacularly for several meters. While my helmet saved me from a cracked skull, nothing could protect me from landing leg-first in the dog poop somebody hadn't bothered to pick up. I had to go to school like that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML
Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, I slipped and fell on a sudden patch of ice, on a road that had been completely fine until then, so I decided to push my bike past the icy patch before getting back on. Little did I know, the ice continued for the entire rest of the road, which was another 3km. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML
Today, there was a girl in heels running in front of me at school, and she slipped on ice. Trying to be a hero, I dropped my backpack and ran up to help her, but ended up slipping and landing on her leg. As I walked back to my backpack, I found out I'd dropped my laptop and broken it. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 35
This of course raises a very important question. Is this a shitty situation or a slippery situation?
Akitakat 31
Seriously, glad you were not injured. That leg could of easily landed wrong & broke. Actually, you can say that the shit broke your fall. Lucky you! :O)
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Comments (17)
Akitakat 31
Shit... it happens.
Akitakat 31
Seriously, glad you were not injured. That leg could of easily landed wrong & broke. Actually, you can say that the shit broke your fall. Lucky you! :O)
exileonmainst 16
Oh man, that’s ruff. I guess you’re a bit melan-collie-c after that fall.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like a... Wait on it... Shih Tzu situation!
Dave_Davington 35
This of course raises a very important question. Is this a shitty situation or a slippery situation?
RichardPencil 32
Uh-oh. Around here, the phrase “shitty situation” is about as acceptable as the n-word. Prepare to get reamed.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Yes.
mattyiscool123 26
Shippery situation
Dave_Davington 35
Or perhaps a slitty situation? Then again, that sounds like it could mean something different.
Conner Dalbeck 15
why not both *Mexican music plays*
Lobby_Bee 18
In the event of ice and snow, please equip your bicycle with studded tires.
arioch_fml 20
Ouch, at least you have a way to break the ice with new people, assuming anyone will go near you.
TeachAllTheMath 19
Time to do a bathroom scrub down!
sweetbliss3 37
why not take a few extra minutes to go home and change. I'm sure everyone would like to not smell shit all day long.
sambmjmdjj 9
Some things just are not taught in school.
chocolatejunebug 9
Ohh, it got posted! I'm the op. To answer why I didn't go home and change - I only noticed when I had gotten to school and got out tissues to clean up some scratches with.... And by then, a certain level of wooziness didn't make biking home attractive at all. I got lucky though, since my fiance was visiting and brought me a change of clothes the next break. Still, I spent 90 minutes smelling of definitely-not-roses... Ah well. I wasn't injured badly and I learned to be a lot more careful in the winter, it could have been a lot worse. Your puns are awesome, btw. I love puns, so...