Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my idiot roommate read somewhere that bacon grease could be used on squeaky doors and windows. Now, we're desperately trying to scrub the rancid goop out of door hinges and window tracks. Our whole place smells like rotten pig ass and death. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML
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Top comments
plutosaplanet 0
oh pick me pick me!! you were standing in line at the grocery store?!?!
pinkdancer 0
Nooooooooo! Lmfao! He only threw out the grease. Duh! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Man I swear ppl's dumb comments are the only thing funny about this website.
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Comments (109)
Gwyndion 9
Your roommate is a freaking retard, seriously, WTH throws a fairly heavy object, especially with hot grease in it, out of a window?
pinkdancer 0
Nooooooooo! Lmfao! He only threw out the grease. Duh! Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Man I swear ppl's dumb comments are the only thing funny about this website.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
To be fair, the FML says he threw the "pan full of hot grease," which sounds like throwing the entire pan and not just the grease. It probably WAS just the grease, but that's kind of an easy mistake to make. No need to be rude about it.
iGreen_Day 0
Underneath the window? Otherwise this really isn't an FML To reply: Maybe it was a typo; 'pan full' instead of 'panful'
nomadxx7 0
I thought the same thing about throwing the pan out of the window as it was written but kind of figured it was just the grease later on. Anyways it must not be super bad since you're on FML typing about it. Just falcon punch your roommate and inform him of his/her stupidity. Plus you save that shit man. Just collect it in a mason jar (I use it for my cast iron cookware).
RachelTM 0
Fixed! No more understanding problems, I hope? ;-)
bugmenotmofo 34
Next to him in the kitchen, while you laughed at his stupidity?
Mx_Rider 6
True ^^^^ hmmm should i pull the fake card? maybe so... ionno but, like how can you be so stupid and do this, honestly who just cooks bacon and decides hmmmm "Quick solution ill toss it out the window? with out even looking either FYL son :D
lolbulla 0
was he ******* drunk? who throws hot oil out of their window?
popoman 0
RAPE ME!!! RAPE ME NOW!!! I WANT YOU TO RAVAGE MY UNDEAD BODY!!! FYL.
Bucinka 5
Your roommate sounds like a primetime douche. You could have been blinded, or scarred horribly (bacon grease gets pretty hot). I'd make him pay for my ER visit. Then I'd get a new roommate.
munchly 17
number 1, 24, and 25 are retarded! I read this FML and figured out what he was talking about right away. The roommate only threw the grease out the window and YES he was outside the window when this happened. what kind of fml would this be? "my roommate threw grease out the window and guess where I was? inside the bathroom and my roommate is stupid" yeah the joys of FML
megamandude455 10
#15 and the fml's
MrsDruidess 23
sorry OP, that sucks on a major level. Best thing for bacon grease is to let it cool just a bit and dump it onto an old jar (I use a spaghetti sauce jar) that way you can cap it off and keep it under the sink until its full and toss it without any mess.
plutosaplanet 0
oh pick me pick me!! you were standing in line at the grocery store?!?!
jakedmagic 0
No you idiot... I mean look at the FML, it implies that he was driving to Disney World. (See what I did there? I made you all think that I was some dumb guy who thought #2 was serious and not joking. Oh and by the way, are you supposed to use periods and capitalization in parenthesis? )
wyld3fyr3 3
You're both retarded, its obvious he was ******* his roommates mom
Kervik 0
Yes, you do capitalise and sometimes put periods inside brackets.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
YDI, for standing in the skip.
fatherpunk 1
Your roommate should of checked before doing that. He shouldn't of done that thought.
perdix 31
I believe he just dumped the grease out the window (even though a good writer would say a "panful of grease".) Put some mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato on your burns and make a delicious treat out of your disfiguring misfortune.
greenltrn2003 0
what if he tossed the whole pan (which was full of grease)?
perdix 31
The way it was originally written "pan full or grease" seems to indicate the grease AND the pan. I would think it is more likely that he threw the grease only and would be more correctly written as "a panful of grease."
greenltrn2003 0
lol yeahh I kno...im jus bustin ur chops mate.
pinkdancer 0
You are British because u said mate ;)
greenltrn2003 0
im a black man from south central los angeles...does that still scream 'British' to you?
chellinha93 0
LOL... OP, ohhhh shiiiiit. That must've been real hot, sucks to be you. FYL
wyld3fyr3 3
well idk about you, but "m a black man from south central los angeles..." screams british to me
j0k3r69 0
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damn
itssnotfunny 24
BLT. Burn, lettuce, and tomato.
Lythiaren 8
Methinks it may be time to find a new, more responsible roommate.
fatherpunk 1
though* -_-'
up4thebadguys 0
thats SO RETARDED
littlexlion 4
Damn, what a waste of grease! Your roomate should have done what Homer Simpson did. He should have tried to make a profit from the grease. He probably could have earned a nickle. :D
ddlovatolover 23
Nickel*
xsw33tyx101 0
No ******* way! Which retard would do that... Musta been high or something.