Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
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Comments (273)
xlilmickiix 0
alright this story is a million years old. u deserve it for thinking she's pregnant -_-
cheapluxury 4
At least she helped her back up? o.o Blindsided for acts of righteousness. -Another reason to be evil. >:D
Chickenfoot117 6
At least she only hit your face.
itz_scrumdidly 0
sounds like that moped should be riding her if she's truly that fat...
mfmylifesrsly 30
what the **** is a moped?
itz_scrumdidly 0
it's basically a scooter
seanders 10
Do unto others before they do unto you.
Stupified 0
It's like an electric scooter for alcoholics nerds and people who can't drive.
Brittney_E 0
i crashed my moped .-.
rushiee 0
shoulda told her to get off of pms cause excersise is good for cramps and while shes doing it maybe she'll lose some weight and then u wont mistake her as prego. psychotic bitchh (: jus sayin haha
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I think "moped" is short for motorized pedal bike.
smdbeeach 0
lol i like how in the fml it still says "i say a pregnant woman fall"
xxroseyxx 0
samooooth!! haha why would you ask if the baby's ok?! like how would she even know haha. c'mon think!! sheesh
KingDingALing 9
You should've went ghetto and say "Well excuuuusee mee, girlll" :D ^ failed attempt at trying to be funny :(
panchod1234 0
well I hope u never hurt your back trying to lift her
Prodigy7 4
KingDingALing, you may not be funny, but at least you know when you've failed.
KingDingALing 9
Thanks 102...that makes me feel A LOT better...
PattisonDaStud 0
lol
the_flirtt 0
haha fat chick riding a moped haha
KiddNYC1O 22
^ lmao
xeno526 0
lol
JGood09 0
this whole FML could just be I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. lmao
Siji 0
'Excuse me is your baby okay?' 'Ya i'll just use the sonagram i carry around with me' XP
xcl0wdx 0
lmao I laughed so hard just imagining that
rzbt21 0
how the hell would she even know? dumb question
mrcoolkid566 0
wow lmao that sucks well next time laugh at her and don't help her
omfgTACOsYeSs 0
haha wow. her fatness is the ultimate fail!!
BahahahLOL 0
while she was walking away you should have said "then lose some ****** weight"
tooGee24 0
u should of nevr helpd her upp && u should of dropped her ass after she hit u. ydi
Prodigy7 4
LOL, Siji. That made me laugh till I almost pissed myself. By the way, I think you should help out KingDingALong
blue_eyes4602 0
Op, never assume that a woman is pregnant just because they look like it.
lovemysnubber 0
i
lovemysnubber 0
I always read mo-ped like mop-ed at least you'll never see her again
bartholemew4life 0
so true. it's not like she can ask the baby it's status.
terranada 3
how wuld she even kno if her baby was ok if she's still "pregnant"? ydi
TechnoTaco 0
FALCON PURSE!!!!
adameeo 21
That's what I was thinking lol
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
alaskan420 0
exactly. when have you ever seen a pregnant woman on a moped?
seanders 10
You're pregnant right?
shortstuff9519 0
at least u helped her up dang
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Actually, just never say anything unless you know her, and know she's pregnant. I've known some women who looked like they were extremely, obviously pregnant when they actually weren't. And I'm not just talking big bellies, either; I mean the swollen-looking breasts, chubby faces, comparatively small arms and legs, and the walk.
Kaelibean 0
yeaah, you should be positive of things like that.
Chrisskiies 0
Agree with Jane, unless you want to risk it and get attacked by a large woman or large feminine looking man, don't. lol
Thoko_fml 0
Lol
h2opoloplaya 0
maby she was
jessicams 0
Why not? Might not be the safest thing but I'm sure some pregnant woman would. Hell, if I had a moped I'd drive it even tho I'm prego
demomanX 0
I love you
lostinmymind121 0
agreed!!
LASHKEENYA 0
lmfao right? a fat person on a moped is way more typical then a pregnant woman on a moped... ydi
lovemysnubber 0
omg!!!! ferrets :D
rockefoe 6
you never do that!
abeastmuffin 1
i'n sovit Russia you hit pregnant woman
sourgirl101 29
Haha, I thought you were trying to say "snot".
Quidikic 9
so was I lololololololololololololololololololol
snapso 0
fsck that, if a woman is fat enough to look pregnant it's time she was made aware that she should put down the fork and hit the gym.
quietlytearful 0
yeahh I agree , never ask a woman if she's pregnant , unless you are like 10000% sure ,
homicidaltendenc_fml 0
Sometimes it's hard to tell if a chick just has oddly displaced fat or if she's pregnant. So yea, FYL, you were trying to help!
catalystics 2
don't worry karma will get her when she's out in the middle of the street cuz her moped dies
MrFerret 0
So what your basically saying it's not worse than crack or risking a moped ride? So why bring it up? Your friends baby was fine she smoked so what?
fmlbrooo 0
lmfaO. :D
BoyBeyond 0
My reaction too. LOL you should of then step back a couple feet screamed out fat whale then run. It would be hilarious seeing a guy being chased by a fat lady on a moped swinging her purse like a warrior.
sarahalyssa_fml 0
LOL? Why don't people write properly these days: if someone says "LOL" or "OMG" what emotion does that bring to the conversation?
Compufreak 0
Well, maybe a loud laugh or a shocked emotion?
fmlbrooo 0
35, Shut up.
twinny_sc 13
35, Shutup bitch.
Tasanasanta 0
-35 It's their pathetic attempt to get first, and she failed miserably.
fmlbrooo 0
176, Dude, what are you talking about.
roobear 2
On the one hand, you were trying to help. On the other hand, this would be extremely rude and insensitive to a person who's fat enough that they get confused for being pregnant a lot. Not sure how to vote.
dopemamiibiiatch 0
wtf
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
ClaireBear9087 0
perdix i think im in love with you an i dont even know if youre a boy or girl. youre my new hero(: your comments are usually funnier then the FML
fossilman 0
more cushion for the pushin!
perdix 31
Thanks, CBear. I'm male, BTW.
xxjoseph1543xx 0
why is perdix's comment so funny, I don't get it at all!
perdix 31
joseph, the woman on the moped was fat, not pregnant. A "plumpa humpa" is a person who is sexually attracted to fat people. After committing the faux pas of guessing she was pregnant, he could have recovered by offering to make her pregnant (if you don't know how that works, Google it.) I hope that clear things up.
fatman1970 25
#230 Plumpa Humpa? LOL! We call them Chubby Chasers here in Great Britain.
Lord_of_0 4
We call them chubby chasers in Canada. And I've only heard americans say chubby chaser. I think plumpa humpa is just gangsta talk, not localized.
Erindub 0
Sucks to be you!