Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
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Top comments
\ 28
(toe enters mouth) "Didn't mean to wake you." (moves foot away) -Glenn Quagmire
SharnaaaBanana 22
Oh alright, that's interesting.
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Comments (69)
JustAReaderZZZZ 10
Hopefully his foot was clean, no one likes a smelly foot. On the bright side, it could have been a lot more awkward. He could have been stroking himself, while stroking your face.
jackaced 7
Well I think he'd be gay if he'd used his hand. Now you can stay roommates and it won't be any weirder than it already is
jonnybgood91 4
Different strokes for different folks.
perdix 31
You ought to give your friend a Ped Egg. Also, shave, so your face isn't as rough as a Ped Egg.
Porter_Robinson 10
My god that's the stuff of nightmare!
Survivor2001 10
I'm sorry, but that is really funny
chosha_fml 27
Not in this universe. Yours maybe.
bshock78 3
That's grounds for an ass kicking...
brittyed 11
Ahhhhh bleckkkk I hate feet, this would seriously freak me the hell out. FYL.
sknabc123 8
Coming from someone who sleepwalks constantly, I know your friends probably a little embarrassed, oh well, it makes for a great story
Hornedone 7
Op could have been having a nightmare or something.. People these days are always jumping to conclusions before having all the details.. Although the foot thing is strange