Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
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Top comments
\ 28
(toe enters mouth) "Didn't mean to wake you." (moves foot away) -Glenn Quagmire
SharnaaaBanana 22
Oh alright, that's interesting.
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Comments (69)
xALEXx_fml 15
That's a bit strange...you might want to get that friend of yours checked out.
Wizzlbang 10
Your friend sounds hilarious
SystemofaBlink41 27
Sounds like something my friends would do.
theBadGuy37 9
Something strange is afoot...
fml0505 22
Was your friend on mushrooms?
Caitie_kid 8
Or X? Lol
Enslaved 38
"Everything's gonna be all right. Rockabye, rockabye."
BellaBear90 27
I can't think of any situation where that would be ok.
suboy 10
Thats just wrong on so many levels.
Fluffydemise 18
One time drinking with some buddies and we all came back home quite worse for wear. One of my friends decided to pass out in my bed.He was still unconscious when I awoke the next morning so I stripped to my underwear, got in with him and assumed the 'spoon' position. When he stirred I looked over at him with the dirtiest, cheesiest grin I could muster. He awoke screaming and ran out of my house. Good times.
jem970 19
You are a good friend. Gotta keep them on their toes :)
Ur_Life_My_Laugh 6
"Shh, you're okay." *stomp*
GoodLookingGeese 10
16 don't interrupt the FML police investigation!