Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I had to go cap in hand to my father-in-law to ask for a loan so I could pay the mortgage, so now he thinks I’m a useless bum who can’t support my family. The truth is it was his daughter the gambler who wasted all our savings, but I can’t bring myself to upset him by telling him the truth. FML
Today, I called my ex to ask if he could help with bills and buying some nice things for my son. He said, "Look, I'm not going to keep doing husband and father shit for a woman who won't marry me and a kid who isn't mine. Go call his dad." His dad is a deadbeat. He knows this. FML
Today, my dad answered his Skype call by insisting he wasn’t giving me any more money. Thing is, I had been about to ask for money, again. I tried to open a shop in the middle of a pandemic, and I’m 4 months late on rent and utilities. I ended the call so he wouldn’t see his grown son crying. FML
Today, I told my mom I wasn't doing very good mentally and I was looking for some support. She decided to remind me of all of the things I still haven't paid her back for. I'm now an unpaid loan, not her daughter. FML
Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML
Today, my mother woke me up and asked to borrow money. Still groggy, I mumbled where my money stash was. She took all $300 and refuses to pay me back because I'm her son and I "owe" her. FML
Today, I confronted my ex-employer about the money he owes me. He'd said he would pay me $3000. He asked me if I had it in writing. I said no. He said, “Well, too bad for you. No leg to stand on.” Then, in a cringey Indian accent, “Thank you, come again!” and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML
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Top comments
emmingle 24
your response: "you'll have to pay me for that, too."
kevinhenning 4
Unfortunately some fathers are like that to that children, I hope yours was joking
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Comments (86)
kevinhenning 4
Unfortunately some fathers are like that to that children, I hope yours was joking
soccerstar1996 18
Look on the bright side, At least he wasn't watching a hardcore **** video with you when he said it?
rosenkrieger223 24
Ah, flashback humor. lol
Zemmiphobia 11
At least it wasn't a cactus he was asking you to blow
iluvFMLs15 19
it doesn't sound like OP is joking.
Darkblade21 20
Ouch OP. Sounds like you're not getting that money back any time soon.
CheeseTron 15
Unless of course... Well... Nevermind...
rosenkrieger223 24
27, that is just wrong on so many levels...
young_weezy_fml 3
that's messed
RoboCunnilingus 23
I was gonna go with "seven".
Wimoweh 10
Yeah Gauss, way to be insensitive. FML is a place of recreation for humans and scorpions alike!
azk3000 9
you should totally rock him like a hurricane
emmingle 24
your response: "you'll have to pay me for that, too."
Usuario 25
That would make him a hoe o.o
_DudeGuy_ 16
I ******* hate when I become a gardening tool. It occurs to me you may have meant "ho" which is short for hooker?
Verota 6
Ho is actually short for *****.
whatthefreshhell 15
Hooker is actually short for prostitute-- wait..
ilovedinosawers 17
Well, not until he pays up.
ApollosMyth 22
Or after that.
Olympiakos10 15
Can he pay you in gum? No one ever pays me in gum :(
Trisha_aus 15
This is not relevant but..wigan beat mancity #44 :-P
Adhdkid107 9
Never loan money to family members. I leaned it never works out in the end.
Adhdkid107 9
Learned * wow ~failure~
ApollosMyth 22
11- I didn't notice that until you pointed it out. Sometimes it is just better to let typos slide.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That wasn’t a failure, it wasn’t really that big of a deal.
BlockOfRedStone 25
31- I actually did notice it, and I was happy when I saw that he rightly corrected his typing error.
ohSNAPyall 27
Liened* ;)
rosenkrieger223 24
31, I disagree. Even though you may have missed it, someone else would've noticed it eventually. With all the people on this site, it's just a matter of time before someone does.
ozpunker 20
What a dead set **** wit.
LeFrogDog 27
go home you' re drunk
whatthefreshhell 15
He's not drunk, he's just Australian.
BjgUsername 12
There's one solution.... Time to tell mom
ohSNAPyall 27
Sorry, you just failed kindergarten. No one likes a tattletale.
sexyboi1985 27
Is stealing an option for you ? Or maybe you can sell his stuff behind him. What about a garage sale of his things? Oh wait, does he own anything at all ?
ohSNAPyall 27
Didn't he help pay for things for you in the past? Or at least donate his chromosomes to help make the zygote that is you? He can't or won't pay you back. Just drop it. Tell him you're square with each other, but you can't afford to lend him any more money.
monnanon 14
sorry no that doesnt cut it. op deserves their money back if it was agreed that it was a loan. being a sperm donar doesnt let you off scott free and with an attitude like that i doubt he did much for op after the donating part.
sugarshane007 20
Money ruins so many things; families, friendships, marriages, and the ******* your dad was planning to pay that hooker for.