Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
chick92282 15
That poor cat! Sounds like it's time to hide the booze.
DogsPaw 16
Hide the kitty!
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Comments (86)
coxatron 2
He doesn't sound that great, maybe greatly disrespectful!
Squeaky_Tomato 14
I understand how hard this is for you to deal with. Please try to understand how much harder it is for your *great grandfather*. As it sounds he doesn't have a house anymore. Imagine losing the place you lived in for the majority of your life.
lmfao_shame 9
Ewwww you saw your great grandfather penis..
kraz8 1
Sounds hysterical to me!
LuminousKing 7
Send him to a retirement home I just hate old people :P
JRenn 1
I'm pretty sure if my grand grandfather I'd kick him out of the house, family or not that's disrespectful.
shinedown00 4
Make him stop drinking at your house