Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML
Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
chick92282 15
That poor cat! Sounds like it's time to hide the booze.
DogsPaw 16
Hide the kitty!
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Comments (86)
chick92282 15
That poor cat! Sounds like it's time to hide the booze.
supbabes 0
Thats ****** up... You didnt tell him off??
RussianFox 13
This is a great act of treason for my people. OP's great grandfather must pay for desecrating one of us.
TrueTriage 16
Now you don't want to keep great grandpa away from his good friends Jim, Jack, and Morgan!
everydayFML2121 5
I don't usually drink beer... But when I do, I get shitfaced and pee on cats. Stay thirsty my friends.
unsuccesfulmastu 4
He was just rehearsing his upcoming role as R-Kelly in the local play.
meihua 19
17 It's a cat. But it's a fox. But it's a cat. But it's a fox!
TheYamBagga 5
#1. FY Cat's life for getting turned into a hairy toilet #2. FY Grandfather's life for having nothing better to do with his morning than get wasted and piss on your cat because more than likely it's the only way he can get any attention. #3. Demonkey....I hope your kids toss your ass into a nursing home and leave you there to rot #4. Try spending some time with him OP...old people have the sweetest stories and are actually pretty cool if you put the effort in. I would give anything for another day with my grandfather...you should be thankful you still have yours...dick
DogsPaw 16
Hide the kitty!
everydayFML2121 5
Train him to run away when someone's wing wang flops out! That would be some weird training exercises...
Feared 9
Sounds like urine trouble.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
2 or the booze.
darf1023 3
Don't hide the cat. Cats hold grudges. Wait for him to go and do it and the cat....well..... spaying him.
Irishgypsy 2
He sounds fun.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Did the cat just sit there and take it? That's a bad sign. Stop letting R.Kelly babysit your cat.
yankfan89 27
Hopefully OP doesn't have kids.
everydayFML2121 5
Today, after having a beer or two, I decided to play "the yellow water fountain" with my great granddaughters cat. My granddaughter immediately freaked out and yelled something at me about being intoxicated. This is the second time this has happened and I have to live with this bitch for the next six weeks. FML
PoseidonsSon 3
I see what you did there
GrahamWilliams 0
Is he okay? In his head?
starwind3438 9
Did you really? Need to have two separate questions?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
5 was going for: "Is he ok...in his head?" Either one works.
starwind3438 9
No really because the second statement isn't a complete sentence.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Well, we know what he's saying, don't we? It could have been worse; he could have misspelled 'head'.
jayslilsoulja 3
Think of the positive! Your great grandfather is still around(: I never got to meet mine
hockeyoceancity 13
I don't see the negative. Great grandfather is alive and is still laughing! The cat obviously liked it, the cat sat there, so triple win; Great grandfather is loving life, cat is happy, and OP has a great grandfather alive!
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Kitty will have some fun cleaning itself.
Yetifoot 0
you mean himself
PoshLife_Cross 5
I heard cats go batshit crazy when you just pee in their litterbox, so this may not end well.
klovemachine 24
Go pee on him and see how he likes that :)
gantoman 13
How respectful to pee on your great grand father. Seriously what is wrong with you?
gantoman 13
That cat is still happy about it... For some awkward reason.
Rowdey 10
Yeah man. 9 was definitely being serious there. That is soooo disrespectful 9! How dare you?!
whatsup215 0
I think the next six weeks will be the best six weeks of your life !!