Anonymous
Mierlo, Netherlands
Asshole
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Christchurch, New Zealand
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML
Cecilly2010
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
XxEmoWolfiexX
Indianapolis, United States
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
birthdayfun
United States
Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML
Deadman
United States
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
Anonymous
He's still got it
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Anonymous
United States
This is fine
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
CatLady
Canada
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Top comments
ApollosMyth 22
Well, lob it back? Though I will admit it is an effective way of waking someone up, that is, if you're a giant asshole.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Sounds like something the cat dragged in... Don't you love when expressions make sense?!
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Comments (36)
ApollosMyth 22
Well, lob it back? Though I will admit it is an effective way of waking someone up, that is, if you're a giant asshole.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Sounds like something the cat dragged in... Don't you love when expressions make sense?!
Dusty_Busters 15
Eh... Kinda close I guess lol
artistic09 7
Sorry I feel much worse for the cat, it had to deal with your drunk dad, just make such you don't get cat scratch disease
ironichalibut 24
Next time he takes a shower give him the ol' cat-hat.
MrSassypants 34
Am I only the only sick bastard that thought of a hat made out of a cat? Yes? Alright then.
Dusty_Busters 15
Oh I liked that!
Skarkie321 18
Poor cat...
botanistjessica 24
Understandably the cat must be pissed, but I'd say OP's face probably needs much more sympathy.
ArielTheMermaid 17
8, your dog is beautiful
botanistjessica 24
Aw, thanks. I have three lovely border collies.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Ouch! Well sorry to hear OP! Neither you or the cat deserved it.
3mILY_maRy629 11
What an ass.
kdbernie10 3
This is an ingenious new alarm. I always just snooze my alarm and sleep more. But you can't snooze aching cat wounds.
girlbye23 15
Wait till he is sleeping then lob it back
olpally 33
Wake up! What a dick move. The cat is not the troll for once! Your dad is.