Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML
Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML
Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML
Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML
Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)
Miss_Michaela 10
Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (176)
nannyplum 0
well you will.
princessRiRi97 0
your mom is my hero! now the real question is which purse would look better with these shoes the pink or the purple! 3 snaps in a circle work it girlfriend!!!
pertained 12
as a hooker?
Sielune 8
I think your mom meant that you could throw your man a great party since there would be tons of balloons to seal the deal!
seanders 10
15: Just a tip: the duck face makes you look like a retard. I don't know who started the trend thinking it's sexy, but they should be shot then pissed on.
lolboy300 0
Or she will do awesome ********.
mintcar 10
32, that was a little harsh. Her picture, not yours. As for the FML, all i read was: wah..wah..wah..my mother has a sense of humour. Wah.
lexielynn0680 0
i would have laughed and told my mom that i already do;) but thats just me and my families sence of humor aha
futtbuck101 1
she's gonna follow moms footsteps
berg54 0
# 32 = one of the smartest people I've seen on FML. Honestly, you look like an idiot, so don't do it.
seanders 10
88: She now has a new picture, victory!
skyeyez9 25
I remember seeing that stupid expression and wondering why all these teens were making that face? I learned that it was the "duck face" about a month ago.
mattmadden 0
What's wrong with kids these days?
seanders 10
It's them new fancy drugs they get.
bodmonontheblock 0
if you are hot, then make me a happy man ;)
Mustardnight 3
yew shure git them pretty lips on yew
Igor_g5 0
Mintcar your real pretty.
Igor_g5 0
Nannyplum you're gorgeous. Is that really you?
heyimzim 4
well atleast you know your good at it
sumtinsumtin18 0
ur h o t
marinus_fml 20
Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)
ChickenInMyKitch 4
HER MOM IS A BALLER!!!!
limepinklis 0
marinus-my kind of guy;)
lauren4ever 0
hey there cutie :)
braasilianx0 4
Mommy's trying to hook you up!
mercuryburst 0
Her mom probably thinks a "********" involves blowing into a man's penis.
lalala2012 2
exactly! this isn't an fml, it's a chance for a boyfriend(;
shnipe 4
haha!! I love you!
HahaNotCool 0
I think she'd know what a ******** is, since she obviously used the joke at the right time.
runtodarkness 0
what really matters is how long you can HOLD that breath for. helps out with hot tubbing.
skylervondra 0
the next thing you say is "unlike you!"
Miss_Michaela 10
Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.
JDintheHOUSE 2
haha did they even say that they were a girl?
keepmeonthedl 7
Haha good idea. And I love your picture :)
Samsonizor 0
41-its the gender symbol in the top right of the FML -.-
Jacobt24 19
That also would've made those guys pretty happy
MatthewDmerrill 5
it says she female one the thing stupid
Miss_Michaela 10
101- I've read what you've written. You can hardly call the other guy 'stupid' when you fail a constructing simple sentences.
iownyou777 0
105 So do you.
Miss_Michaela 10
At*.
LoveCali 0
I Love Your Picture OP.:)
iownyou777 0
grammar nazi vs grammar nazi
mind_geek 15
That blows.
Ohmie 5
I don't see what you did there
iLazy 0
Because you need to know what he is talking about to understand him. You don't see what you can't understand
DavLynn 4
13... that was sarcasm.
Dreamkiller51 5
5- I know that totally Blows... My mind!
GDitto 6
literally
Xathanos 16
Always good to make people happy, just depends on how ;)
sourgirl101 29
Ask her why dad's not happy?
boat3439 0
Hahahaha poor dad
OceanBreathesSal 5
haha your mom is awesome!!
TessIsabella 0
Your mum has class.
HubertPL 0
keep it classy, never trashy.
murlocholmes 5
classy... like wine-in-a-box....
OceanBreathesSal 5
^ hahaha!
jessi030304 0
moms you gotta love'em,and you never know she might be right