Today, my girlfriend got the breast implants she's been wanting for the last 5 years. When I went to pick her up at the hospital she said, "Maybe I can find a guy with a real job now!" I paid for her fake tits. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, when I was a teen, I felt inferior for being flat-chested. So I got a boob job. As an adult, I started yoga and meditation. Then I felt foolish for not embracing my natural self and having plastic stuff in me. Got the implants out. Now I'm happy with my looks but have nerve damage from the procedures. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me, saying she'd started to appreciate herself more with the help of a therapist. That I paid for her to visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend two tickets to a Broadway show that was coming through town she really wanted to see. I couldn't attend with her due to work so she said she would take her mom. I found out later she took her ex. Now they're back together, and I paid for the date that made it happen. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. Apparently, my ex-girlfriend’s arm implant didn’t work this one time we had sex during our closure talk. Now I’m stuck having a baby with a girl I don’t even love anymore, and I have figure out how to explain this to my current girlfriend, who I do love. FML
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Top comments
TheZman 0
You should have proceded to take a needle and pop those bitches
Nitros_fml 0
Well if she dumps you, say "Hmm isnt the left one slightly bigger?" No matter who tells her they are fine, it will still eat away at her :)
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Comments (198)
PureGold 0
Eww...fake boobs x(. But still, that's pretty obnoxious of her to say, and it's not fair to you.
SerenitySilver 0
Slap a ho! Hope one of them pop on her new date
_Elizabeth_ 0
Well that sucks. Hope you learned your lesson about paying for something for your girlfriend that would help her get other guys. Good job.
TheZman 0
Ooh that sucks you should have proceeded to pop them with a long needle
elara15 0
Maybe she'll blame it on the anesthesia. It could be a bad sense of humor, but maybe you deserve it for financially backing her vanity. Just a thought.
TuddaTM 0
first.... and wow whata bitch
qwerty475 0
Ouch! NEVER buy your girlfriend anything like that
exotica_fml 6
mannn not fair...if i could get a bf to pay for a boob job for me i would be forever grateful
sskarma23 9
I hope she was joking even then she should be grateful considering you paid for em
housemd1120 0
hahahahaha
ryguy1997 0
but if op didn't have a "real job" then how did he afford to buy them for her?
pikachu_01 0
Ugh. I say dump her!
Rose_916 16
Never pay for the implants if ur not married to her cuz she could've dump u on the spot after u pay for them ! :p but if she wasn't joking FYL
acousticxxwench 0
that's why you don't date superficial ***** :)
tWitt3rBuG 0
FHL! Run!!! Sorry dude! But she's fake, time for you to get a real gf! Like hello how many guys do you think would love her for her (like you!) She'll be back. Hope you moved on by then!