Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML
Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
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Top comments
breeY0 7
why would you leave your weed out in the first place !
K_kanaka 26
Sooooooooooo how long are you grounded for?
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Comments (158)
K_kanaka 26
Sooooooooooo how long are you grounded for?
bobsanchez13 0
It's simple guys he got trolled by his dog :p
blackheart24 10
Oh no, not another weed thread... The last one had like 200 replies.
DarkDeath90 4
Hopefully long enough that he realizes getting high isn't worth the trouble.
bigtaytay 13
How can u be a HU fan and say that?
IphonFML 6
#1, I don't think he was caught...
hellbilly205 17
Here comes the fight about weed *sits back and watches while eating popcorn*
blackheart24 10
16- He only confessed to having weed. I think his parents got the idea.
JocelynKaulitz 28
That's when you admit that you were being sarcastic about the whole weed thing :)
DuffleBagHero 4
Aw, well shucks OP . Fyl indeed, hope you feel better though
SkoomaKi 28
OP?! Stand your ground and face what they need to you before you blurt out that you had weed. Get some more and hide it better next time ;D
thelastavailable 13
Don't worry OP, just smoke away your grief.
Osito2011 9
I guess op never heard innocent until proven guilty. Op should of held out until his parents mentioned it, but sorry to hear that the dog died..
Idonebeenhad 17
It seems sirin enjoyed that little flame war on that last FML about weed, so here it goes again... Drugs are bayud mmkay? But really OP, if having weed makes you that paranoid, maybe you might wanna stop?
gojira666 7
16s comment made my day
Furrywhiplash 14
16's profile picture made my day (that much worse)...
j_cat187 20
The dog death and the weed canceled each other out. Nothing happened.
ChronicBluntz420 7
It's amazing how nature is illegal.
Furrywhiplash 14
130- it really isn't amazing. Nature leads to destruction. Nature is chaos. Take a couple of chemistry classes so you can be more well informed when you comment.
breeY0 7
why would you leave your weed out in the first place !
Keevarou 17
Why? several reasons "pain relief" "artistic boost and imagination boost" "Help for psychological problems" Even though i'm strongly against weed, it can have SOME good uses, but weed can really **** up peoples mind :)
Keevarou 17
I noticed my mistake too, i thought she asked why OP would have weed.. :/
marmlr339 14
Always lock your weed / drugs in a cabinet where no one can see them. Then you wouldn't have even had this problem
yahoowizard 16
Wouldn't have that problem if he didn't have weed too
Keevarou 17
I agree wizzard
ScaughtieHolden 11
Are you Kurt Cobain?
Keevarou 17
Yes, I'm back from the dead to slaughter justin bieber because of his discrimination against all of music.
crimsonprodigy 15
2- it makes people stupid, OP is living proof.
justanotherhuman 21
lol, this is like alcohol "letting out the bad" in people. Whenever people royally screw up they blame the inanimate substances they consumed. Simple fact is... most people are either weak-willed or fools; sometimes both. I'm neither here nor there on mary, but I *do* know whenever people do something stupid it's because *they* are stupid... not because of some intoxicant they choose to ingest. It's called accountability, kids- look it up. Either learn it to live it, or get steamrolled in the real world by people like me. Just a friendly heads-up.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Alcohol and drugs can lower inhibition. It's the persons fault absolutely if they choose to get drunk or stoned... The behavior is something they may think of doing while sober but won't because they can think of the consequences then. Intoxicated? Not so much. It's about knowing your limits and reactions at low levels in a safe environment before consuming more. I know I tend to want sex when I'm drunk so I talk with any people I might hook up with before I start drinking and express my consent or lack there of- while I am sober!
aceman1992 9
34- you couldn't be more wrong, weed has no harmful effects on the brain. Get your facts straight before you start stating incorrect facts.
Big_Chives 7
Why would you smoke weed in the first place?!
Link5794 18
The thing about weed is that it's rarely just shredded cannabis these days. It's usually mixed with other, more harmful drugs, and smoking it is he most popular method of achieving the effects, and inhaling smoke is not good for you.
BecomeMine 0
Well, it went from you getting the love and attention because your dog died and now its just pure bitching from your parents because you had weed...... Shouldn't of said anything :/
AugustBurnsToast 14
Haha yeah the dude definitely got himself double whammied.
jtthegr8 26
He should have waited for his parents to say something I say "he" because a girl wouldn't be dumb enough to leave weed out like that, yes i'm discriminating against my own sex
LSS_fml 18
That's what happens when you have a guilty conscience
ThisIsMyReign 4
23 - So, why the discrimination? Your saying guys are too dumb to remember to hide things? Then, how do we drive so well if we are dumb?
LoveMay 10
Never confess to anything until you're accused of doing it.
mischiefkel 17
Shouldn't *have*, not shouldn't of.
guckylynn 19
57, males have higher insurance rates because they're considered more "at risk" when it comes to driving, so I guess statistically speaking you are incredibly incorrect.
BobbieH 19
I think some people on this site need to stop with the grammar nazi act. You're on a site that has **** in the name. Do you think you can lighten up?! Your corrections aren't teaching the masses anything, it's just really annoying.
MerrikBarbarian 9
I dunno the odd grammar nazi is funny like one who explained why there is a very important difference between then and than... Because the wrong word presented a much funnier scenario
ThisIsMyReign 4
93 - Yeah, I might have been wrong if insurance companies didn't say they were lowering male drivers and upping the rates for female drivers.
Calyx_fml 22
Quack quack.
scarface90 8
Assumption is the mother of all ****-ups
johnnyrogers97 9
The stupid kid had weed in the first place It's not fyl It's YLIF (Your Life is F*cked)
circaden 0
Your like 11 dude u Have no room to talk about weed
TarieBoo 2
smooth move sorry about your dog though
Guren 0
Never say anything until they do. How does everyone know that but you?
AK_Nymeria 1
Aww that's sad OP. I tend to wait to see what my parents are thinking before I spill my guts. Sorry about your dog though.
ninjadinos 14
I'm so sorry, OP. Dog deaths are really hard to cope with, as pets become part of the family. :( But rule #1 to getting away with shit, DON'T CONFESS TO IT! For heavens sake, why would you admit to having weed before they even remotely hinted about it?
brianjman14 23
That's what I was gonna say! You NEVER confess until they have solid proof.
Gloritank 8
That's a bit of a stereotype 95.
aceman1992 9
95 since you seem to be a "muscle head", is it safe to assume that you are also as dumb as a rock. As well as having a tiny dick? Don't stereotype, I'm a pothead with a 4.0 GPA in my final year of college.
johnnyrogers97 9
And your still on drugs?... Your a genius 120
NoisyNykkii 10
More weed FMLs? Oh dear God, please save us.
metalwolf 17
Between reading FML and notalwaysright, i really hope god doesn't try to help us. The problem is getting big enough the simplest fix would be 40 days of rain.
ladyLALAA 29
I wonder if OP's parents "confiscated" it like the police officer
SkoomaKi 28
*whispers* I have a funny feeling a massive argument is going to happen about weed. Let's tread carefully to avoid it....
brianjman14 23
It's because it's almost 4/20.
NoisyNykkii 10
66- at least Blaze isn't here....
johnnyrogers97 9
I follow u sir U r the saint of FML
NoisyNykkii 10
143- I'm strictly female ^.^"
ajourdhui 0
Were you high when you left your weed out in the open? Apparently.
ladyLALAA 29
I know, everyone knows that's what hollowed out stuffed animals are for!
emeraldisle 30
Never assume anything.
Mister_Triangle 21
I assume that I'll wake up tomorrow, but if I don't, no biggie, I'd be dead so I won't even know.
Goatinsfriend 8
Noor, that is very true. "We need to talk" is a line that makes everything you did wrong, race through your head like a race horse!