Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML
Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
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Top comments
breeY0 7
why would you leave your weed out in the first place !
K_kanaka 26
Sooooooooooo how long are you grounded for?
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Comments (158)
eltapatio16 5
That's a bummer.
eddeeezzyy 19
That! And the line "So, I heard something....", too as well lol
march_17 0
And thats why you don't do drugs kids...
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
...**** that lol
crimsonprodigy 15
46 ur so kool, 0mG.
justanotherhuman 21
...bye-bye to Bacardi and Starbucks in the future, then.
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
82 I never said anything trying to be I like weed not being cool just saying no to not doing drugs
berichsoon 11
I don't care about the weed, sorry about you dog
lissa_jade 22
rookie mistake.
br0ccoli 15
Drugs are bad. Mm'kay?
TrentF13 12
Dude, you got balls to just out right say it. Commend. :)
LSS_fml 18
"We need to talk" is the worst, usually followed by "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed."
citymayer 7
That's why you sit there quietly until they speak first. That's probably the first rule of parental interrogations.
Goatinsfriend 8
Or, "Can I ask you something?".