Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we needed to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, I knew it was going to be a fun day when I woke up to find that my kids' new puppy had died in the night. FML
Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML
Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
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Top comments
breeY0 7
why would you leave your weed out in the first place !
K_kanaka 26
Sooooooooooo how long are you grounded for?
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Comments (158)
girl112891 7
Rule number one: never confess without accusation with evidence.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I'd like to thank everyone for not handling this FML like idiots. I feel like we're being tested. Anyway OP, I'm sorry about your dog. That's no easy thing to hear. If you have weed, you shouldn't be so careless with something you need to hide, especially if you have such a guilty conscience. FYL because of your dog, but YDI for your carelessness.
DocBastard 40
The only thing worse than a patent saying "We need to talk" is when they say "So...is there anything you want to tell me?" My parents used that on me ALL the time. And I'm definitely using it on my kids.
j_cat187 20
As a safety percussion I always answer with nope as I proceed to exit the room.
brianjman14 23
Awaiting anti-marijuana comment from the person with a Bob Marley profile picture...
DocBastard 40
Nah, we've been through it twice in the past few days. I think we're all exhausted from fighting.
twisted_cherub 14
I know I'm tired of it. I didn't realized how easy it is to get pulled into a fight just for stating a different opinion. People are very defensive. And not just with weed: I got into a war over blow jobs on the banana FML.
twisted_cherub 14
75- See #88 below.
zmoney2121 6
I have learned u wait until the question first
shadowPlayer 6
Never, ever confess.
perdix 31
The worst part is the dog died from eating your weed.
Xalandra 17
Sorry about your dog OP but you deserve whatever punishment they give you for smoking weed without a medical reason and for making assumptions!
Unlucky_Gun 0
Sorry for your loss OP, FYL. YDI too for being involved with weed
brianjman14 23
You can't say YDI for being involved with weed when you have a Bob Marley picture as your profile picture. It just doesn't make sense.
twisted_cherub 14
You tell him, jman....again.
Late_night83 25
I concur.
challan 19
It's it funny that when your parents say it button, you're the bad guy, but if your bf/gf says it, they're the bad guy!