Today, I walked in on my 17 year-old son masturbating. He froze, raised his hand and tried to use the "force" to remove the memory. I'm regretting ever having let him watch Star Wars. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML
Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, my son walked in on me masturbating. Now, whenever I don't do whatever he wants, he blackmails me. FML
Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML
Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my lounge room, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, in front of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
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Top comments
Shzusuziq 16
Don’t you knock before entering his bedroom? (I’m assuming that is where he was)
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
so your 17 yr old needs your permission to watch a movie?
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Comments (18)
Chen Zhibang 8
"Why do I get the feeling you're going to be the death of me?"
jbuckets_404 39
It's now time to let him watch how you lock a bedroom doorknob (or how to install a locking bedroom doorknob)....
julfunky 29
I’m guessing someone else needs to learn to knock before opening a closed door too.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
so your 17 yr old needs your permission to watch a movie?
kfchicken 31
pretty sure that wasn't what op meant.
RichardPencil 32
At least he didn't challenge you to a light-saber duel.
worldclassrager 41
Maybe men and black would have been better
jbuckets_404 39
Or the movie "Men In Black" perchance?
Mark W. Noonan_969479943 5
OMG that’s Embarrassing. I got caught once too when I was 16. I’m 48 now;
Shzusuziq 16
Don’t you knock before entering his bedroom? (I’m assuming that is where he was)
Memnoc 26
You have a teenage boy, and you haven't learned to knock before entering a room that he is in, with the door closed? YDI for not respecting his privacy.
AmbrosiaFan 19
LOL!
saberjpg 6
I guess I would have said "Oh, I'm sorry", and left the room. There is nothing wrong with him exploring his body in his bedroom with the door closed. It's normal, and it's a healthy way for him to learn about himself sexually. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, and I certainly wouldn't make him feel embarrassed about it.