Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my husband at a restaurant, laughing with a hot woman. He'd told me he was at a meeting with the VP of his company. Furious, I barged in and started screaming at them, calling him a cheater and a liar. Turns out the woman was actually the VP of his company, and they were in the middle of the meeting. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I had to comfort my wife after she found out that her boyfriend wasn't faithful to her. FML
Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML
Today, I came to found out that every time my husband told me that he was on "a work trip", he was actually cheating on me with some other bitch. FML
Today, I found out during my eleventh year anniversary with my husband that he was cheating on me with his recently deceased friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, my husband left me for the whore he cheated on me with four years ago. I forgave him and took him back then. I guess I deserved this for being stupid and trusting him once again. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML
Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
tdudey123 14
Accountant? More like accountramp! Yes my joke was bad and I should feel bad.
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Comments (186)
Welshite 40
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
eeppiicc 8
I agree, op should have left after the first time. Not stay around and wait for it to happen again.
dakatabg 31
True
tjv3 10
Sorry OP but this is a YDI for not leaving after the first affair. You know the whole "Fool me once shame on you, but fool me twice and it's shame on me"
Rommel1942 9
'Murica
hockeychick27 5
Literally exactly what I was about to say haha
xmidnightxlonerx 12
39 and 44, how in the flying **** does this have anything to do with "'murica"?
eMurpH 9
I don't agree with once a cheater always a cheater. It's too general and makes it seem like no one can better themselves. However, there is no reason to cheat and you deserve better OP.
EMTchic 14
I don't entirely agree with "once a cheater always a cheater" true, if he has cheated on her before then she probably should have left the first time, but maybe she wanted to give him a second chance. There are guys out there who genuinely believe that when they cheated it was a mistake and mean it when they vow not to do it again. It's not many guys, but there is always an exception to every rule. Also, that statement is too general because there are guys who have cheated in past relationships but then meet that one person that changes them and they don't want to screw around anymore. Just saying. (I'm saying guys because op is talking about her husband, the same applies for women, too.)
Joe9024 20
Fool me once, you can't get fooled again #38
andromeda335 9
Fool you once, shame on him. Fool you twice, shame on you
jkmartinjk 16
'Fool me once, strike one; fool me twice... strike three.' Who can catch the reference? ;)
KawaiiCupcake 14
Rob him of his last cent! Take all the money from the divorce!
mn_shr 22
I'm sorry 38 but no one deserves to be cheated on. Go bully someone else idiot
ShyAnn29 15
Once a cheater, always a cheater......that's so not always the truth, my dad for example, he cheated, and when my mom found out, he felt terrible, they both have been working on the things that led to it in the first place, and he has not cheated again.
TVKill3r 15
Which is why I dropped one of my gf's the moment I heard she kissed another guy. I wasn't gonna let that happen again.
laden_swallow09 35
123- I don't think you know what, exactly, a bully is.
kelseythompson 27
#38 no one deserves to be cheated on..
rebelmonster 4
38 isn't saying she "deserved" it. just that she should have known better after it happened once. And 130, he shouldn't have only been sorry because she found out.
Djjooze 4
If your attractive you can do what you please
choco3782 12
38 literally said "you deserved it" so your facts are kinda wrong dude...^^^^^^^^
bigwiensch 15
looks like its more than money that shes accounting for
zandalee 20
I hope for the love of God, you have finally learnt to wash this prick right out of your hair OP. Better late than never!! Time to find yourself a real man.
laya_fml 26
I guess you can't account on her.
laya_fml 26
One more bad pun: I hope you held her accountable.
mattorama 15
I'm sure he balanced her bottom line.
golden_warrior 23
well you knew he was a bad debt expense. Should have written him off the first time. Bad puns continue
Joe9024 20
Don't hold her accountable OP. She certainly Excels at her position.
KingCeltic77 18
I guess shes his sexretary now.
freshko21 6
Here comes a stinker: Make sure that **** didn't charge your 'ACOUNT' for her services. Lmfao it's so bad, it's brilliant.
chosenblades 8
Their marriage just bounced!
flockz 20
kick his asset to the curb.
tdudey123 14
Accountant? More like accountramp! Yes my joke was bad and I should feel bad.
Mopmob02 18
Take pride in your bad joke and where it like a badge, it's not everyday that a bad pun like this could make many laugh!
happylappy 21
Wear^
friedpwnadge 25
Your joke was bad and you should feel bad!
NellyFC35 19
It's ok...at least you tried lol
Joe9024 20
aaaannddd right back at ya 47
TheBrochure 22
I, for one, thought that friedpwnadge commenting exactly what he she did was exactly what this reply bank needed!
PinkieKeen 20
hopefully OP's husband doesnt screw the SEXretary too. yes I know my joke is equally as horrible.
jackiemora 18
Ugh! No more unfaithfulness! No more!!! >_< Sorry OP, hope you find someone else who deserves you. But I gotta say if he did it once before you should have left at that time!
Ariet 20
You should have left him as soon as you found out about him cheating on you the first time. You can find better!
firefighter925 18
Once a cheater always a cheater
Blacksabbath211 9
^^I do believe you were beaten to it by about 50 comments
stevothedevo 25
Fool me once..
stevothedevo 25
^^ My bad.. I was beaten to it by about 50 other comments
guy24 9
He's got some commitment issues.
EMTchic 14
Ya think? *facepalm*
SystemofaBlink41 27
I actually didn't see what was wrong with this FML until you pointed it out. Thanks!
guy24 9
Hey, Captain Obvious he is here to help. ;)
nightowl713 25
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me... I don't think you deserve it, no one deserves that, but you should have been prepared for it. Leave!
Vidrill 22
I wouldn't be focusing on the bitchiness of the accountant, but on the fact that your husband seems to have no respect for you and your relationship. I think it's time to make some hard decisions...
Ameel_fml 19
It takes two to tango. They're both responsible imo. The husband for being a cheating asshole twice, and the accountant for knowing he's married (and how much pain it caused his wife) yet still choosing to bang him.
Vidrill 22
"Held accountable" :P
HortonThelephant 15
Looks like she did a damn fine job comforting you both. Just desperately. And at different times. And perhaps even different ways... but then again, you just never know..