Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
Today, when I got up for work, I went into the bathroom and saw a coat hanger sitting in the crack of the window. I had a panic attack, thinking someone had tried to break in and grabbed a knife. I ran into the room where my boyfriend was sleeping and he said he put it there. FML
Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Today, I was doing laundry when my downstairs neighbour knocked on my door and handed me some knickers. Apparently, it had flown off the clothesline and landed on his head while he was sweeping outside. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML
Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Here's Johnny!
firebirds118 11
"Officer, somebody embedded an axe in my door and then peed in my underwear"
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Comments (108)
anonymous5101 11
that stinks!
whaime 10
Paranormal axetivity.
Bentonic 11
Your pic matches with your comment perfectly.
kumarina 35
Have you heard any kid say redrum lately?
buckdharma 38
My guess is it's an axe murderer
SkyGuy32 17
Maybe not. "No, Timmy, that's not how we knock on a door."
jannatanelle 5
yea I'd be in my house calling the cops everyone saying go out in the middle.of the night and knock on your neighbors doors y'all are crazy.
kathryn14 19
I wouldn't say it's safe to say anything, at all..
papayeya 18
Call the police let us hope they will find finger prints
strike2867 13
You seriously think the police are going to fingerprint an Axe in someone's door? They'll probably say, "Call back when it's in your head."
jazzy_123 20
well I'm assuming whoever threw it used their hands... hands have fingers, fingers have fingerprints... so yes, I do think the police will find fingerprints on the axe, and they will help him because it's not everyday someone throws an axe at your door..
worldclassrager 41
Well #1 beat my phrase... Better then a machete chainsaw clawed hand or a knife right?
mxij 13
And it shall remain there to signify war until it is settled. Until then, I recommend, changing before you get a rash
stiansr 8
Looks like someone is trying to send you a message... or your neighbours just might have a weird sense of humor! Either way, RUN!