Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
This is why I'm a dog person. A dog would at least pretend to feel bad
Tripartita 45
My condolences. Here you were expecting a cat burglar, and fate went heavier on the "cat" than the "burglar".
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Comments (41)
AbbotsfordVandal 14
That's sucks OP, hopefully you have a warranty on it or something? Nonetheless that's too bad, at least you were prepared for a robber though, just in case
madinphernelia 13
What a catastrophe.
Cipher_585 18
What a pussy, didn't even come into your room
WCARlover 35
This is why I'm a dog person. A dog would at least pretend to feel bad
Catdragon 40
Yeah well I once scolded my dog for pooping on the floor and I stepped in it, so she retaliated by ******** in my bed so that when I woke up I would roll right in it. I'm a cat person.
Unbansawsage 16
Damn, what kind of dog was it? Most dogs will feel bad if you scold them.
Brandi_Faith 34
Key word being "pretend" lol. They know how much harder it is to scold them when they're looking so sorry and adorable.
cuz803 46
Your cat is a criminal caught in the act OP. Time for punishment. No peting for a week!
tigeresscrazy 12
The cat may be a criminal but I don't think op will be able to not pat the cat for a week cats can be very demanding lol
WinterChild 20
I'd use the knife then buy a dog.
WinterChild 20
I'm kidding; I'm not a savage, gosh.
cuz803 46
Joke in bad taste killing cats
blaherman 12
Well at least the cat will be a good dinner
Tripartita 45
My condolences. Here you were expecting a cat burglar, and fate went heavier on the "cat" than the "burglar".
Tarlachia 33
Well, as the saying goes, "There's more than one way to skin a cat."
confused_wandere 26
How the hell was a cat able to push a TV over?! That is one strong cat!
LyricaSilvan 30
My thinking is that it was one of those real thin plasma ones. Those things can tip at the drop of a hat.
MoofinnMan 11
Or at the push of a cat
DanielleinDC 34
My cat has come pretty close to knocking over my TV. Luckily she hasn't succeeded. As for you, OP, it sucks that your cat wrecked your TV, but at least it wasn't a burglar.
LyricaSilvan 30
Touché, 28. Well played.