Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I found out that the girl who my high school boyfriend cheated on me with is now the woman my husband is having an affair with. FML
Today, I found out that the drop dead gorgeous fun bubbly woman I hit it off with is actually a disgusting, scheming whore who seduces married men, then blackmails them for money. I can’t afford to pay her, nor can I afford my wife to find out. I’m screwed. FML
Today, I found out my husband has been sleeping with one of the women in our marriage counselling group. FML
Today, after finding out that I'd slept with our married neighbor, I found out my husband had slept with him too as revenge. FML
Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cjwayy 22
Ooh, what a twist of fate!
extremereviews 26
She really sucks
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
itsjusttofunny 8
ha ha. looks like the jokes on you.
littleteapot 21
Because she deserves to be cheated on and exposed to God knows how many diseases......?
Lebeaugars95 20
actually the joke is on the husband...literally that is
Vagitarian1 10
So sad that he feels the need to get his pleasure elsewhere. If you kept him satisfied, he wouldn't have to stray.
hatemyluck 15
Or..you know, he could talk about what he wants to his wife.
Flowtastic 16
20 - and this woman who is earning her own money deserves to be ridiculed for it? The joke is on the OP, she wanted to shame and make fun of someone, albeit secretly, and in turn she is the one that is to be embarrassed now.
octinate 17
#36 No one deserves to have their marriage ruined because of making jokes about a call girl
Flowtastic 16
38 - and no one deserves to have their choice of work ridiculed. It's just ironically funny, and I'm sure a slice of humble pie to the OP, that the person she made fun of is the person her husband was cheating on her with. Live and let live.
littleteapot 21
#36 You've never secretly made fun of someone? Nice to meet you Jesus.
RabbitOfAurora 28
I'm actually pretty happy with the first comment. Downright satisfied actually, because I was thinking the EXACT same thing. Just because someone is a callgirl don't make them any less of a person and is no reason to look down on them and ridicule. I do believe that this is just karma.
littleteapot 21
This site leads me to believe that people don't actually know the true definition of karma.
Flowtastic 16
64 - the word has evolved and is being used in the correct context from its evolution.
Vegetarian27 24
Maybe the husband doesn't like what a bitch is wife is and visits the call girl out of spite.
incoherentrmblr 22
Karma is a bitch. If that's the call girl's name too, that is awesomely ironic...
octinate 17
It's not karma. Usually the cheating dirtbag will ridicule the woman he's cheating with in front of the wife as a way to throw the wife off the fact he is cheating.
DArthurVaderian 18
Um remember how being a callgirl is illegal? It's not a choice of work like being a McDonalds employee, its monetizing breaking the law
VfortheShadow 8
Not technically, depending on the circumstances. Paid escorts are legal and any sexual relations between the escort and the client is "outside the contracted services and solely the business of the parties involved."
cjwayy 22
Ooh, what a twist of fate!
samquenda 8
Maybe it was karma
andy1500726 19
we need a follow up!
extremereviews 26
She really sucks
sweetbliss3 37
she sucks, but he sucks more. he could tell her no, Or you know, get what he wants from the OP. they both suck.
extremereviews 26
@45 it was supposed to be punny, you took it too literal.
DoubleDosexo 12
#45 the husband pays her. you can't say no to someone whom you've asked. she could say no, but that's her income so why would or should she?
clemsi 20
@61 why would I respond yes or no to someone I asked a question to?
sweetbliss3 37
Yes 46 I got that, but I was just adding on.
redstone7693 29
She really sucks.... Dick!
Marie54321 19
Karma...
kurodansei 16
Actually her name is Carmen
schhichick 14
In How I Met Your Mother the strippers name is Karma....
brendejafulable 41
Oh nice. What a dick.
kurodansei 16
Why, Thank You! XD
NightHawk387 22
#6: I was quickly scanning through the comments, and I almost misread yours as "Oh, what a nice dick." Haha.
SunTzu2 9
Do you know what a girl says when she sees a nice dick? I do!
MissHeartSihk 26
Beat her ass and your husband's while you're at it. Sorry OP.
DomiLove 26
There was this girl who caught her husband in bed with another girl and beat him with one of his golf clubs; in her mugshot she's smiling like she's a sweet little angel xD kinda off topic but that's what your comment reminded me of..
MissHeartSihk 26
That is...awesome. I must see this
RedPillSucks 33
Am I the only one who was expecting a limerick?
UberNova 18
Haha! Beating up men is so fun! Right?
seltzerae 6
No, #44, you are not.
Brandi_Faith 34
No, but beating up cheaters is!
DoubleDosexo 12
the chick really didn't do anything wrong. op should leave the girl alone. her ex husband too probably, if he's Herr ex...
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
He had an affair only he needs his arse beat. She was just doing her job.
VonBlitzkrieg 27
How would you feel about it if it was reversed and the husband beat the shit out of his wife with a golf club then smiled in the mug shots?
vrej 3
#96 girls this days are taking over everything. we aren't allowed to hit them back. This world is turning shit we are losing man power. Also females are naturally evil.
kingdomgirl94 29
Yes, females are born evil and die evil. its not that people in general are evil beings, no just women. cause women started every war ever in history- oh wait.
garrett_8614 14
He was probably joking with you to cover up the cheating. Looks like the jokes on you now unfortunately. Sorry OP
junkman6 22
That or the wife made jokes about it and the husband thought "maybe I should ask her." See it's all the wife's fault!
gramirez23 9
18, you're an asshole type
MegasaurusRex89 28
That's horrible! So sorry OP. Also, you should go get tested asap
ulissey_fml 22
Guess the butt of the joke is not exactly her, and she gets her grin back .