Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Thanks, Mom
Today, I was wearing flip flops whilst putting out the trash, and was careful not to step near the broken glass surrounding the trash cans. My mother ran up to me hysterically warning me about the glass, which startled me and caused me to step on a shard, slicing my foot open. FML
Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
A little stiff and rusty
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Spice
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Top comments
woainishamu 21
The irony in this FML and the description makes me want to clip my own toenails before this happens to me.
lalatookasheema 8
I don't think "Floridians" are the only ones who wear flip flops.
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Comments (125)
ohreallynow1992 3
Well... That sucks for us Floridians. I have a flip flop tan because that's all I wear.
lalatookasheema 8
I don't think "Floridians" are the only ones who wear flip flops.
boz1 3
I feel like "Flordians" isn't a word...
ohreallynow1992 3
14- I understand that people other than those in Florida wear flip flops. It's so darn hot here though that that's pretty much all anyone wears in Florida all year round.
perdix 31
#20, apparently #1 made a Flordian slip.
ohreallynow1992 3
Actually, 20 spelled it wrong for starters and Floridian is definitely a word.
boz1 3
Oh sue me. Christ you get the point. Please feel free to correct my spelling and grammar.
botanistjessica 24
The majority of the United States is currently experiencing drought and record heat, so I promise you aren't the only ones who have it hot enough to wear flip flops. It's been 110+ here for almost three weeks.
free2speak 14
I seriously think half the people on this website are idiots or do not understand English. Why would you thumbs down the 1st comment? He had a legitimate point. There are so many good comments that gets thumbs down for god-knows-what-*******-reason. As someone who grew up in Florida, moved to Boston, and now lives in Mississippi, I have to say that as a Floridian, I wore flip-flops almost all year-round. Even in Mississippi, there are some winter days where you can get away with flip-flops and shorts. Flip-flops aren't dangerous. People, on the other hand, are clumsy and can even make a hazard out of almost anything. :/ *waits for the thumbs-down train to arrive and attack*
free2speak 14
She*.. not he.
kofeinisti 6
#36 - Please tell me you see the irony in your butthurt-ness...
ImaSnowman 2
Stfu,
teresa96706 29
Lol in Hawaii we call them slippers not flip flops. And a lot of people wear them all year round as well, including me.
jnaust 8
In Australia they are called thongs and slippers are normally worn during colder weather. I'm lovin' someone picking on a made up word then getting pissy because someone corrects their English. It's better then the actual FML. Thumbs up all round.
1blinktink 4
Oh, you have a flip-flop tan because you live in Florida? Please, tell me more about how Florida is the only place where you could possibly get a flip-flop tan.
twisted_cherub 14
Good grief, people. #1 did not say no one else wears flip-flops. She said it sucks for Floridians because they do. Did none of you take the SAT/ACT? If it is always hot in Florida, that does not mean it doesn't get hot in other places. Also, clumsiness is not the only danger in wearing flip-flops. Flat shoes, which most flip-flops are, cause foot, leg and back pain. Wearing extremely flat or extremely high shoes all the time can do serious damage to a person's spine. Wedges or thick-soled flip-flops with arch support are fine, even optimum, though.
Enslaved 38
I'm with you #1. I'm in Florida too!(: and wear only flip-flops/and open toe shoes year round. My work shoes are the only pair that are closed. **We understand other places also wear flip-flops but here, it's what the majority wear, even during winter. :P
syley 5
Hold up, why can't I vote ydi?
syley 5
Alright now I can, for some odd reason I had to reload.
zine_fml 5
Penis that is all
XmoulcraftX 6
Bitch pls >.>
kimg0885 23
In so cal flip flops are year round attire! Still better than heels I guess? Oh f*** it.... I love my flip flops!
gTOtheT 7
#46 I don't know about flip-flops in the winter and I'm on the coast in Mississippi and it gets pretty dang cold here in the winter sometimes. Maybe if you're just going to check the mail or something but not to go out in lol.
counterfit 10
Gulf coast? You do not know cold. Try someplace where they actually get snow every year. And then, people from Fairbanks will still call you a pussy.
mimi_animee 18
In Canada if you wear flip flops in the winter you get frostbite..
MDTeddy 13
It doesn't matter where the hell you live. Learn how to put on normal shoes. Flip flops are starting to become annoying.
sleet7 4
They are more comfortable, worth the risk!
slurshies 11
pro
onlychildFTW 34
Just be careful while driving!
blaackandprouud 20
I've always found them to be irritating, because when I'm walking I can constantly hear them. That annoying sound has prevented me from wearing them. I don't care how hot it is outside, that sound pisses me ff.
vulpixvixen24 7
So you'd rather lose your toe than wear some comfortable tennis shoes? You make no sense.
SierraaaNicoleee 26
Who would've thought flip flops could be dangerous? That shit hurts though.
woainishamu 21
The irony in this FML and the description makes me want to clip my own toenails before this happens to me.
eggmarie 25
For about half a second I thought "I'm just going to cut my toes off so that doesn't happen to me" Then the logical side of my brain woke up
jjames7543 13
Yeah, but you still have to worry about the possibility of the toe separating part cutting you while you're walking. My high school had to ban flip flops for years before it got renovated because some people would get the top part of their flip flops caught in the loose stair panels/grips while they were walking, causing the toe separating part to cut into their foot. So, have fun wearing flip flops!
jkozzy 8
How do you accidentally rip off a toenail??!!
AGhost5445 25
You trip, I'm guessing.
slurshies 11
no, you tie yourself up to a ceiling fan with a string tied to your toenail and then be surprised when you don't have a toenail anymore. (joke, haha...)
whatsup215 0
Please tell me it wasn't the pinky-toenail ... O.о that's the worst
SierraaaNicoleee 26
Very easily.
jkozzy 8
Well, I'm just saying it would be a pretty hard hit to rip off a toenail, something not easily accomplished by simply tripping.
twisted_cherub 14
Unless you're wearing flip-flops and your nail catches on the concrete (or other rough surface) as you fall.
your_face 15
I opened a door right over my foot once. Bye-bye toenail.
Lovebug105 0
The irony of this is fantastic!
lilpowers 3
Haha ya that's what I was thinking.
PizzaRollsss 5
Now I want to know how flip flops are dangerous, you left ne hanging OP :(
plaguer 26
I was told they were bad for you because they were flat and offered no arch support, but who knows.
lolfood 24
Mine have arch support.
ladyLALAA 29
That's Murphy's Law, or maybe karma. Once a glass door fell on my foot and I had this crazy big blood blister on my toe. The doctors heated a safety pin and put a hole in my toenail to free the blood but I still lost it. Good luck with the healing process.
perdix 31
I don't understand. Were you laughing at the glass door, or otherwise ridiculing it?
ladyLALAA 29
The story was just thrown in there due to the lost toenail.
perdix 31
I think you need to read up on Hinduism. I doubt "karma" means adding a barely-relevant tale of woe to someone else's tale of woe.
ladyLALAA 29
I believe Murphy's Law is fitting and I did say "maybe karma" as I was uncertain. Sorry you did not like my story. :)
beelee1988 13
I like the first 8 letters of your story. :D
DooleyFTW 17
Murphy's law states that anything that can possibly go wrong, usually goes wrong I believe, it's related to the FML because the OP was warned about wearing flip flops despite the apparent danger and the worst possible thing happened. Problem solved!
ladyLALAA 29
Thanks 70, I probably should have worded that better but I just wanted to share my pain with OP!
Yousuck24 21
Did you flip shit or flop onto the fall in pain?
jackassiddy 8
Most people enjoy flopping onto the fall, but personally I enjoy flopping onto the spring.
perdix 31
Don't laugh at science, because it will usually end up laughing back at you. Are you sure it was about the shoes, and not political beliefs?