Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I'd fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Have a wank, it will feel like someone else is doing it. You may as well use this opportunity.
ebonyirony 29
Nice one, Rocky.
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Comments (98)
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Yeah, basically, receiving a punch from Chuck Norris basically erases you from history, reality, and from this dimension.
orange9494 0
last!
The_Hitdude 12
Keep tellin' yourself that champ.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I've done this a lot. Sometimes it falls asleep so completely that I have to smash it against a wall with all my might to wake it up.
SkoomaKi 28
I reckon the Chuck Norris jokes are getting old and ridiculous.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
"my fists make the speed of light wish that it was faster, you may have freed the slaves but chuck is everyones MASTER!"
pinkie6n105 1
That literally just happened to me yesterday!
j0nes08 4
People will say just about anything to have a featured fml
Ungazing 7
Whenever something falls asleep, I usually just put it under warm water. Most of the time it works. How in the world did you manage to do that?
Raechill94 3
I did the exact same thing this morning!
kordurac 2
That has happened to me twice in the same morning, I feel your pain