Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That must really sting. Next time bee more careful.
very_ugly_girl 0
Hey, been awhile since we talked. Wasp do not make that type of sound. I think it is moo
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Comments (118)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Buzz!
very_ugly_girl 0
Hey, been awhile since we talked. Wasp do not make that type of sound. I think it is moo
Doortje 30
No no, that would be cows.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Cows oink. Pigs moo.
KingDingALing 9
Cats bark. Guys go skeet skeet. Girls go oh oh. Beds go squeak squeak.
Selena_is_back 7
You should "beeware". *BA DUM TSSS*
fakeaccountX 6
You FALCON PUNCHed yourself in the face and now you look like you've been in BRAWL.
C00l3y 0
hey let's not hate on ppl
tati3092 1
who uses the word brawl nowadays?! just sayin
dusthawg 4
obvious you don't son
tommy700 0
super smash bros use it every day
bella789 8
do wasps buzz?(: haha I'm not sure
EvilDoll 7
BAM!
Shaebug12 0
I voted both cause, that sucks but y fite tat hard for a frieken wasp?! FYL & YDI!!!
XxxT3rr4xxX 25
haha... POW! Right in the kisser!
GodofRandom 0
Win
flighted 1
Swat a WASP with your HAND, are you kidding me?? lol
very_ugly_girl 0
How dare you put your sexy hands on a tiny little bug!! What did the bug did to deserved your anger, I am so glad you punched yourself. Eat no meat!!!
generalasskicker 12
sry If double post but If I was not supposed to eat meat I would not be able to kill it and if it can kill me it can eat me
adoraaaa_fml 0
Oh geez. who called PETA in here. God forbid one tiny little wasp dies. theyre on the verge of being extinct.
cnd84 0
Your vocabulary is ******* deplorable! Go read a dictionary cover to cover; then, you can posts comments promoting PETA all you want!
iseywisey 0
90 - haha win
Meel_fml 2
ah shit another hippie
saltypirate 0
3 things: 1. Wasps are pests. 2. wasps aren't made of meat 3. If you don't eat meat you will look all pale and malnutritiony
DavidCooksAngel 0
LMAO~ wishes someone would have video tape it!
very_ugly_girl 0
How is that funny!! He could have killed an innocent bug. What is wrong with you humans.
kayybby 1
An innocent bug? Oh no big deal they only sting the shit out of you. Oh and did I mention some people are so highly allergic to wasp and bee stings that they can DIE from them. I think the question is WTF is wrong with you?
fsaskid 0
I like the way a very ugly girl comments on a very pretty girls comment :)
Doortje 30
YDI, trying to kill an innocent creature.
NeverShoutHaylee 0
poor wasp ):
saltypirate 0
That wasp wouldn't be innocent if it stung you!! I'd rather swat an innocent creature that have it bite/eat/sting me
DavidCooksAngel 0
time to find a man that will treat you right. you need to dump that looser.
bleaker95 0
fail!
Sirin_fml 47
Wrong FML, son.
Doortje 30
He's just telling him to dump the wasp!
zp5 4
Thats right, DavidCooksAngel. He really needs to dump that wasp and find a new one.
Zmeilerr 22
At least it's not a hornet.
DocBastard 40
That must really sting. Next time bee more careful.
saruhhboo 0
haha gud one
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Figh hive? Holy shucking fit! Imma go shake a tower. Dood gay!
DocBastard 40
That's the most spoonerisms I've ever seen in one place. Dicely nun!
unidentified_sta 5
... You punched yourself how the hell does that work out? Lack normal dexterity or motor musculature control? Wasps... **** 'em I'd run. So nice when it is cold outside, don't have to worry about such insects for a good while.
soul_fml 0
The first sentance of your second paragraph really goes well with your prof pic.