Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
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Top comments
ThatsHowItsDoneS 2
That's a pain in the ass isn't it
dansythomas 6
You're ******
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Comments (260)
doubleup_fml 3
On the bright side.. you can't get him pregnant.
kimg0885 23
But what if op is a girl then he could knock her up. Right?
westcoastkp 13
I know, you guys are assuming op is a guy, no straight guy is going to have a gay roommate, just saying.
thetguy 4
Hmmm he might not be gay after all...
shawnaishere 14
Umm obviously he is guy since op is also a guy.
gmc_blossom 21
If never states OP's gender.
b00ms 1
Your so dumb
dominic1221 6
B00ms, just stop commenting before you embarrass yourself even more, you illiterate retard.
jay0819 1
But he does mention his gay roommate
gmc_blossom 21
118- I fail to understand your logic. You don't have to be a guy to have a gay roommate. 0.o
freshlybreezy 15
My roommate is gay. Does that mean I'm a guy? No. Idiot.
toelie 26
It's a bit like that philosophical question about the tree falling down in the forest with no one around to hear it. If my gay friend ***** me but we're both too drunk to remember afterwards, did it still happen?
8KAGE8 8
Only if you want it to..
pabst4america 1
Or was the gay butt sex merely a perception of the human mind that fits the category of the action that is butt sex
baronsmommy 14
I find it hard to believe that neither of you remember, butt hey if that's the story dick to it
AgentSmith79 9
Yes... Dick to it
perdix 31
I think you have your G-card now! You may still want to date women, but now you have earned the right to be in all those fabulous parades!
AgentSmith79 9
There's an easy way to tell. When OP farts, does it smell like condoms and Vaseline? Mystery solved!
supportcommand 17
Or cum squirts out.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Wow, 140... That is ******* gross. You paint a very vivid picture.
panda4567 0
Usually you don't remember things you don't want to remember ..
JustDerpin 11
Unfortunately, I always remember things I don't want to remember.
kotana191 8
maybe it's a good thing if you never remember. ever.
FML_Elle 17
Good thing he doesn't remember... Or maybe he's not telling you something..
nuzeachik 5
Is there anything saying that OP is a guy? O.o
l0v3p4in 7
No gender icon available for this FML, only a cryptic username - holyshitbatman.
MyV6Thunderbird 1
I'm not thinking that ones gender specific, maybe they wanted it that way? Haha
wulfric 7
Finally, after sifting through so many disgusting comments, I see someone use logic.
GIGA_IMPACT 15
You sir have just been raped
perdix 31
Or, he could have been doing the raping. If he was drunker than his roommate, the gay guy could have been calling the shots, so to speak.
IntoTheClouds 42
Can you prove that he was raped, or are you just speaking out of your ass?
xNephilim 19
Technically, drunk sex is always considered statutory rape. When you're drunk, you can't really give your ok to have sex - or so the law says.
IntoTheClouds 42
If the roommate didn't know what happened last night, either, he was probably drunk, meaning that it could be the OP who raped the roommate. We don't know. But to assume that it's the OP who was raped is simply preposterous.