Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThatsHowItsDoneS 2
That's a pain in the ass isn't it
dansythomas 6
You're ******
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (260)
gracehi 33
This is one of those FMLs where the a gender icon is essential. Damn you, OP! WHY MUST YOU LEAVE ME IN THE DARK???
Enslaved 38
Follow your nose! It always know! Stale beer and vomit, is fine, butt other smells? Uhoh!
juliaO_fml 4
You wanted it!
CreepInTheCorner 11
I bet he's a happy person.
Justin0481 5
Isn't that the definition of gay?
jeresaw11 3
No comment....seriously.
IntoTheClouds 42
So you decided to post a comment about how you don't have a comment?
unluckygirl86 4
Lmao
SenselessPattern 12
Worse, he tricks you by saying "No comment" and just when you're about to move on he strings a 'seriously' on the end with some periods. What a tease.
Skeeter1980 0
he probably had that shit planned for weeks
etoilenuit 15
You were probably just cold and it's the best way to warm up. That's all!
StanSmith2013 26
He is lying to you ;) Does your arsehole feel violated? Maybe next time don't get so drunk!
j_cat187 20
I guess the next time you take a shit you'll know whether or not you took it in the ass.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Here's what happened: Your drunk gay roommate lost his clothing. You, being the considerate drunk, took off your clothes so he didn't feel bad. Then, he mentioned he was cold, so the two of you cuddled under the covers for warmth. Or you got ****** in the ass. But the former option is the optimistic one.