Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML
Today, I locked myself out while taking the trash downstairs. I was wearing pajamas, slippers, and a winter coat over nothing else. My neighbor offered to help, then spent ten minutes trying not to laugh while I explained that my keys were sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
Ohhh that's bad I would be totally freaked out. Maybe you should also think about what caused the sleepwalking and do something about that. The most common causes are stress and alcohol abuse.
maskedman 9
It's a good thing you're a woman. If you were a man you'd be registering as a sex offender right now. Then it wouldn't matter where you move.
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Comments (129)
perdix 31
You do need to move. . . to building where there is one guy desperate enough to take your virginity when you show up naked at his door pulling the old "sleepwalking" stunt. I don't know what your problem(s) is/are, but you made need to find a place that caters to the visually impaired, or the olfactorily impaired.
hawkster90 0
OP better hope that no pervert invited her inside while she was sleep-walking. He could've done some really, uh, creative things...
danii_s2 0
I was hoping op was a guy so I could then ask where he plans on moving to ;)
MakaPaka_fml 0
Walking rape target. Even with clothes on your still a target because you won't resist (whilst asleep). :s
ImaginaryFoe 1
#34, what's wrong with a girl that lives alone sleeping naked?
BigBoii123456 0
ydi for living in jersey
tereshay 0
it's gross!
ReyEr9412 0
Depends on the girl....
Jessicaiful 0
That sounds a little serious... I can relate to waking up in totally different clothes than what I was sleeping in, but not from walking around in the middle of the night knocking on doors..
monnanon 14
Thats a bit scary OP but i wouldnt move when you seem to have a least one understanding neighbour who was kind enough to dress you and take you back home. i would reccomend sleeping with pyjamas or a nightdress on but it is not unheard of for sleepwalkers to undress so it might not solve the problem. Also if you have a lock with a key instead of a deadbolt then hide the key away somewhere where even your subconcious wont find it.
bunny911 16
Or put it atthe very back of the highest shelf in your appartment where you have to be really creative and well balanced to get it out.
bunny911 16
^^spacebar fail. God I need to get my phone fixed.
monnanon 14
Idealy someone else should hide it for her but as she lives on her own she cant get someone to come up to her flat every night before bed to hide a key lol. High shelf that requires climbing up to it seems a very good idea :)