Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked through the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML
Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML
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Top comments
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Don't you lock your doors?
talal_icon 19
Lock your doors from now on OP and that's gotta suck and be scary. If I were you I'd also invest in some in home protection.
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Comments (25)
friedpwnadge 25
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife...
VanillaBeanGhost 15
Why did this one make me laugh so much!!!
ConfederateSlave 2
GOLD!!!
talal_icon 19
Lock your doors from now on OP and that's gotta suck and be scary. If I were you I'd also invest in some in home protection.
kokomo777 17
That must've been so scary! At least he was harmless, that could've gone in a terrible direction. Glad you're alright, OP!
Ultimate_Batman 28
I digski fam
Arashikage 18
Translation please?
snazz23 20
I think it means he enjoys the post...
cootiequeen4444 11
Ultimate Batman by arse. instead of doing stupid short unrelated to the topic memes based comments you should do legit comments tapered with something batman-y. like "that sounds most unpleasant, OP. I would have screamed too. Just like when my parents were killed right in front of me" or "Do you mean mentally ill or mentally challenged instead?? Or maybe alzheimmers? Is that a mental illness even? I don't see someone with depression or anxiety just being all OOPS wrong house... room... pajamas... people I live with. my bad. And that sliding by the cops. Also, I am totally not a billionaire named Bruce Wayne."
Ultimate_Batman 28
I truly appreciate the comment above me
thesmeagol 22
cootiequeen4444 is very tricksy
trucker2 33
Good thing you didn't shoot now, and ask questions later.... I'd have been scared shitless....to wake up and find someone in my home, much less wearing my pj's
GhostFox 34
I have to say that you reacted way better than I would have... I really would have freaked out and probably would have hurt either myself, the intruder, or both. Still, sounds like he needs a watcher or that his watcher needs a kick to the rear for letting him wander off. Hope you aren't too rattled by the experience OP.
TonierShadow 19
Your lucky he only wanted your pyjamas.
gobiteme2 34
I want to know, did they fit.
RichardPencil 32
Or is it: Today, I broke into a random house to take a nap. The homeowner called the cops. I bribed them and they hauled him away. FHL?
sarcasmismyno1 22
Downside: creepy dude in your house. Up side: he was harmless and had awesome taste in PJ's. Coulda been worse. Maybe once he gets treatment he can be a new shopping buddy.