Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML
Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back, the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Really constipated? That's the best lie you could come up with? How about being accosted by 6 ninjas in the hallway, and you narrowly escaped them with your life? If you're going to lie, at least make it a good one that doesn't make you look like a complete idiot.
Lennsik 4
Well it appears that situation went down the toilet.
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Comments (99)
Lennsik 4
Well it appears that situation went down the toilet.
fakeaccountX 6
Yeah, that pretty much sums up the situation.
Nadinek98 0
who goes skips class to play monopoly on their phone
purplecowchik 5
I have totally done that!
restlessdork 2
me...
Hidan_fml 0
Why the **** would you come up with a lie like that? You could have made yourself sound cooler by saying you were hanging out with friends. Oh wait, I bet you don't have any. ********.
Molord1 0
33, he probably made up an excuse so he would t get in trouble for playing monopoly on his iPod... get some common sense. oh wait, I bet you don't have any.
maxtheman 0
33-Lol naruto? what a freaking nerd/3rd grader. And as for OP, you would love my drama teacher, he let's us do whatever we want (text, play on iPod, etc)
goodorbadnews 0
he just should have said he threw up. then he could have potentially been sent home, and been able play more monopoly
Bubblerider 3
#49 good idea! :D
nicobington 1
first of all your fml name his hidan from naruto so the ******* 6 year old who has an iPhone stfu
supertacowaffle 41
I would do that
inuyasha1618 7
46, you like dogs? no way. you must be a 3rd grader..
Milly143 3
46 must be a nerd/3rd grader to actually know what 33's picture was from
tencalories 3
screw you guys I'm 17 and I still like naruto
LightningLadyy 0
Hahaha I would have just told the teacher they don't wanna know what went down in there ;P
manatees_r_epic 0
^ Win (^_^)
megamandude455 10
EPIC win is more like it
youngclench 0
That wasent much of a win.. Like at all
iSCREAMMM 0
Good one lightning, btw same birthday :D
mieks 18
op was forced to tell the teacher in front of the whole class so op did not have the choice to only tell the teacher...
DaveEPIC 0
This FML is a win.
Bosia 0
I bet he chose the thimble token!
Brittneyyyy 7
I don't have monopoly on MY iPod D:
KVloveBC 0
scrabble I fun too!! :)
KVloveBC 0
is**
R34luver 5
i like words with friends :)
LDP2 0
UNO!! :)
HudzonGuy 0
I have it all tho the machine cheats alot
edogy2 1
I think you meant " I have it, but the machine cheats a lot."
Midnight7787 0
That is just sad
DocBastard 40
Really constipated? That's the best lie you could come up with? How about being accosted by 6 ninjas in the hallway, and you narrowly escaped them with your life? If you're going to lie, at least make it a good one that doesn't make you look like a complete idiot.
starrs_movingIn 0
I 100% agree w/ doc. if your going to go down, do it w/ a bang. not "oh, yeah, my bowls are f'ed up." o_O
boopityboppity 11
Perhaps he should go with a classic... "There was a jungle cat in the bathroom!"
Hidan_fml 0
We'll get him next time, Doc. ;)
ellielovesyuh 0
agreed. ur in DRAMA class for Petes sake!
xavier1623 4
Obviously a better excuse is Running in and screaming 'TROLL IN THE DUNGEOOOON!!!' Before passing out.
scrapmetal58 9
63, you have just made my day and made me laugh. Thank you.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
"I was hiding from the kid with a gun, I didn't see which way he went"
tencalories 3
63 had the best idea although I would have said I was playing monopoly who cares it's drama class
ArentICute 0
Or even "there was a herd of sheep going across the hallway"
ceedub24 0
The good Harry Potter acting scene! LOVE IT!!
lkhardin 13
#63, thank you for making my day! Potterheads, woo!(:
nybsucubos 5
Sorry man but that is just terrible
jess6blondie9 3
haha that's attractive
perdix 31
You should have just told the truth -- you were hiding from your drunk mom who was passed out in the front row.
rattusrattus 19
Lol
R34luver 5
ohhh hahaha i get it! yur referring to the FML a few spots below! xD
rattusrattus 19
My god, OP. You. Are. A. Moron.